(April 19, 2015 at 3:28 pm)pauloroberts Wrote: I've been with her for 3 years and I had no idea about any of this. I always had a feeling about her but I really didn't think it was like this. This is a huge shock to me and what bothers me is that I've invested 3 years of my life with someone whose values and mine most certainly do not gel.
What values do you believe that she no longer shares with you now that you know her sexual past? You said in a previous post that you weren't slut shaming her. You don't have to say the word, slut to be slut shaming. Anytime a woman or man's character is judged only on the basis of the number of sexual partners then you are slut shaming. As long as someone is honest and doesn't try to trick another person into sex then their past sexual activity has no relevance to their ability to have empathy, keep their word or any practice any other value.
Quote:I don't really want to break up with her, but at the same time I can't imagine staying with her and being OK with this. It's going to nag away at me, I know it. I'm a firm believer that her sexual history has a lot to do with the ability to pair bond (or should I say, the inability), and I have seen enough evidence of this with my friends and their girlfriends to confirm it.
How can you not see this as slut shaming? Unless she lies to get people into bed or has promised to be faithful and wasn't, her past sexual activity has no influence on her ability to love someone else. What does that phrase, pair bond mean to you anyway?
