RE: Do you care about your significant others sexual past with a poll.
April 22, 2015 at 2:09 pm
(April 22, 2015 at 1:54 pm)Nope Wrote:(April 22, 2015 at 12:40 pm)paulpablo Wrote: I don't see why jealousy would be assumed, the post by pauloroberts for example was not about his jealousy it was to do with his own standards, morale values whatever you want to call them. He didn't like the idea of his girlfriend previously enjoying anal sex and being on fetlife, he wasn't jealous of her.
You mentioned the person who started the other thread. I can only speak for myself but there was more to his original post that bothered me beyond his discomfort with his girlfriend's number of sexual partners. For example,
Quote:This is a huge shock to me and what bothers me is that I've invested 3 years of my life with someone whose values and mine most certainly do not gel.
It sounded as if her values apparently didn't differ from his until he discovered her number of sexual partners. That would lead me to think that it was her sexual activity alone that made him believe that her values didn't agree with his.
He also mentioned that people with very active sexual pasts would be unable to pair bond. I admit, the word pair bond confused me but I assume he meant that someone with who had been promiscuous couldn't be part of a monogamous relationship.
If he merely had written that his girlfriend's past made him uncomfortable, I don't think that most people would have a problem.
I don't think that either jealousy or even a preference for someone who wasn't more experience than him was his problem. PauloRoberts seems to have decided that he can judge another person's values and ability to 'pair bond' based only on their number of partners.
This is turning into an interesting thread Paulpablo
I think it was based on more than numbers. He mentions 7 things he discovered they were how old she was when she first had sex, her having anal sex, kissing girls, being a member of a fetish website, doing porn and having threesomes and also the number of people she slept with. So only 1 of those things makes a big issue of the actual number or partners involved.
Yes I disagree with him when he evaluates people's abilities to pair bond, but I'm not even sure I know what pair bonding is so I'm just guessing like you are that it means have a good relationship in a pair.
I think he is being judgmental and I don't agree with the judgement he's making but as I've said I think everyone is judgmental in one way or another about the entirety of another persons sexual past. I don't think he's slut shaming her either.
Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.
Impersonation is treason.
