Converting to Atheism?

[Mister Agenda]

Hey guys, I just have a few quick questions regarding converting to Atheism. But first, I'll give some background on why I am here. It's the typical Atheist story, I always felt different as a child, grew up in a religious household where my parents were pretty strict. They often insulted my intelligence with stories of some "man in the sky" and I haven't grown quite fond of them as a result.

That's a shame, I'm sure your parents are doing the best they can with the tools available to them and that they have your best interests at heart. They may be mistaken about what your best interests actually are, but it's an honest mistake. I hope you'll give them credit for loving you.

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I eventually became fed up with their controlling ways, so I began to explore other beliefs. I would scour the net in search for enlightenment each and ever day, and there I eventually found Atheistic gods like Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, and Richard Dawkins. I am now 18 and free from my parents grasp in a college dorm, and hence I am able to convert. So, here comes the questions (keep in mind that I'm new to this religion so please be patient with me):


1. I already acknowledge Dawkins, Hitchens, and Harris as the three main Atheistic gods, but are there any more Atheist deities that I need to quote?

No person is a god, we are all flawed humans. It's nice that you've found some writing that resonates, but your own thoughts are even better, as they demonstrate whether you can think for yourself. There's no need to exchange one set of scriptures for another.

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2. Do I have to make Atheism my whole life identity? Should I constantly assert that I am an Atheist?

I think that would be a little silly. It would be annoying if a Christian acted like that, and it's just as annoying when an atheist does. Social skills and a sense of timing are valuable to anyone. Besides, it's a single opinion on a single topic, not much from which to make a whole identity. Why you're an atheist has a lot more to do with your identity than that you're an atheist.

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2.  I am good and ready to start religious debates with people on the internet, but just how much condescension is required in these Atheistic sermons?

None is required or recommended, but sometimes it's hard to resist. That should have been '3', by the way.

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3. I know reading up on other religions is expected of that of a practicing Atheist, but I'm wondering how much is sufficient? Is three Google searches okay enough to compete with a scholar on religion?

Not only do you not have to do any reading up to be a practicing atheist, there's no practicing involved and you don't have to capitalize 'atheist'. All it takes to be an atheist is to lack a belief that any supposedly divine being is real. If arguing religion is important to you, knowing what you're talking about is advisable. There are around 9 or 10 million atheists in the USA, if you think they're all worried about knowing a lot about religion, I think  you're mistaken. Most of them don't care enough to bother. Most of them were raised in a religion and picked up their information that way.

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4. Must I dismissively label every one who explains something about religion to me as an "apologist"?

In my opinion, if you're going to label someone, you should do so accurately, and never dismissively. Since an apologist is someone who offers an argument in defense of something, it's probably usually accurate enough to be too redundant to bother pointing out. Technically there are many occasions in which a religious apologist could accurately portray their atheist interlocutor as an apologist, however the term does have a connotation of defense of religion, so that sort of usage might be confusing.

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5. And finally, does regurgitating witty one-liners like "God is just as real as unicorns, fairies, and the flying spaghetti monster" score me any intellectual points?

No, they're strictly for your own amusement, not worth any 'intellectual points'.

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That's all for the moment, thanks for your time.

You're very welcome. Thanks for your honesty and sincerity.

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I am unsure if you are being sarcastic or if you actually think atheism is a religion. Please clarify.

I come here with the best of intentions, I assure you that I am an angel (I hope that term is not offensive). I am just here to learn. 

It's not offensive in the least, we could use more angels here. We get too many trolls.

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I am getting a very hostile vibe here. Is it customary for all Atheist to greet people this way?

Not at all, we greet people according to the impression they make, like pretty much every internet group.

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Yes. But since you didn't acknowledge my earlier friendly reply, you get what you're given.

Sorry. I just google'd the man and have skimmed through his Wikipedia. So, as you can imagine I am just as equipped with knowledge about him as an average atheist is equipped with in debating religion. Is more studying required?

It's  hard to imagine you're so knowledgeable about the average atheist when you've only just learned 'atheist' is not a proper noun.

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Depends. Do you want to do the studying?

No, I assume I know everything there is to know about him, as I imagine an average Atheist would assume about religions. He seems rather arrogant and angry, a perfect role model for an aspiring Atheist!

That doesn't sound like a good method for educating yourself. And I see you're already capitalizing 'atheist' again.

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In fact, why exactly are you here?

 That's a tough question, I don't know why I am here. How was I created, what exactly is my purpose, these are questions that I hope Atheism can answer for me.

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14 years old, given the keys to the internet for the first time. It's a whole big world out there, kid.

A world filled with three phase mobile rock crushers. Far as the eye can see.

Perfect! That is exactly the smug, condescending, attitude that should be expected for an ideal Atheist. I hope I too can channel that well like you. I appreciate the lesson.

I'm glad you find it satisfying, after all, you're working so hard to get the kind of response you want, I'd hate you to feel that it's all for nothing.

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What about Atheist sermons?

What about them? An actual atheist sermon would be pretty short. I think it's likely that what you're thinking of is fundamentally about more than just atheism. It's a very small topic, after all. Just like mere theism.

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Again, no opinions on rock crushing...

I say he's a witch! Does he float?

This is a place for intellectual discussion. I don't have time to play your silly games. Sorry. :C

Only time for your own silly games, eh?

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The post was meant to be factual, not creative.  I was just pointing out that self-righteous twats, such as yourself, "attempting" to incite hostility through mockery are a dime a dozen here.  It's the same old tired routine of spouting way over-used tropes, because you trolls can't come up with an original idea on your own.  In fact, we're so threatend by your unoriginality that we're more interested in talking about rock crushers.

Or more accurately, rock sorters pretending to be crushers.

Yeesh, look at those defense mechanisms turning, you're a touchy fella aren't you? I already told you I apologize if my simple questions don't entertain you, I am used to the real world in which you just ask questions and have them answered, I didn't expect critiques on their creativity. But I now understand that this community is special, so don't fret I will definitely try to get my questions to meet your standards next time.  Although, I urge you not to get carried away next time; I assure you I'm not some dragon for you to slay, I don't mean any harm. 

The standards are simple: the responses you get will be at least as honest and sincere as the questions, maybe even more honest and sincere.