Ask a smoker

[emjay]

Thanks Aroura for you concern   I think my biggest problem is not the actual quitting method, but having faith in the idea of what it would be like to be a non-smoker... and perhaps you can help me with that as an ex-smoker. I just can't imagine what it would be like not to be able to have a short mental break (which is ultimately what a fag break is) every time I'm triggered to smoke... say between different activities or when I'm stressed. Do you still have those sorts of breaks in a different form (eg coffee or something) or did the need for them disappear after you'd quit?

Ah, I think that is a common worry, especially if you take smoke breaks at work.  I think the need for them mostly disappears after you quit, but when you still feel the need for that mental break, you can find something else to replace it. Depends on what you like.  Reading?  Music?  Gaming?  Use someting else enjoyable and rewarding to replace it for those times you really just need to get away from everyone and have that 10-15 minutes to yourself. 

I used to read while I smoked, and I worried that reading would trigger that desire.  I did need to change where I read, but it was fine to keep doing those things.  I did pretty much quit drinking because it lowers my inhibitions and made me more likely to give in and smoke, but that is temporary. I think think the key to being able to do the things you associate with smoking is to just do them in different settings.

Yes, I still take short mental breaks.  It depends on what kind of breaks you want.  You might find an app on your phone or tablet that you can play mindlessly, or bring a book with you everywhere and sit and read a bit when you feel a craving come on. If you are the type to try meditation, that works really well.  Music alone can help too, but music with mediation together gives you that mental quiet you might miss.
For some people doing something quiet might only make the craving worse, you might find you are the need to stay active and distracted sort, instead.  In that case, go for a short walk, play PvP or something more engaging on your computer, wash your dog, etc.  Anything that gets you through those cravings. They feel like hell, but they pass in 10 to 15 minutes.

Also...deep breathing. For me, just breathing and thinking about my breathing for 5 minutes, followed by 10 to 15 minutes of keeping my mind busy elsewhere worked.  And have someone you can call or text (or PM!) who you can talk to.  You will want ot cry, punch things, kick things, etc, on occasion.  Don't e ashamed of the emotional outbursts, just find whatever works to get you through them.

I'm a pretty big wuss, so if I can do it, I know others can.   Feel free to ask here, or PM me anything.  Don't rush it.  I understand setting a date bout 2 weeks away and preparing yourself mentally as you get closer to that date really helps it to stick.

Okay Aroura, I'll set a date - two weeks from now. And you'd be happy for me to PM you when the going gets rough? Like a 'sponsor'?

My fag breaks are much shorter than that - 2 minutes or so - because I make very thin rollups but I have quite a lot of them and quite frequently. So my mental breaks are very short. In fact I find that even say turning my head or rolling over in bed can have the desired effect of breaking whatever mental trance I'm in so I think it's just about switching off from what you're currently thinking about, however briefly. So yeah, using an app on my phone sounds like a good idea. That would make a good app idea actually - a virtual smoke (hey Tiberius you wanna make that? )... a way of having a fag just by looking at your phone. I could try it myself cos I also do app programming, albeit not as an expert, and not very well. Anyway meditation looks good as well (or mindfulness) but generally I think something simple like playing a game on my phone would probably be best.

---

...
You sound a lot like my dad ...

Now you are making me feel old.  (I am old enough to be your father, but I was not thinking about that before your post comparing me with your father.)  But, and this is very much to the point, I don't have a problem with having sex.  I commonly go on hikes of 10 miles or so, which involve more than just walking on level ground.  So, one can be "old" but not be in bad shape.  But you don't get this way from leading a very unhealthy life.

As for advice on how to quit, you will want to look to others, as I was never a smoker (I have smoked a total of maybe 3 packs in my life, and maybe two or three cigars).  My grandfather smoked, and when his doctor told him he needed to quit if he did not want to die shortly, he quit cold turkey.  He was a strong man.  He ended up dying in his 80s, and was pretty healthy after he quit smoking.  He got exercise and ate good food, which helped him last as well as he did.  He also drank moderately.  And that is something I also do.  It is something that is good for the heart, but only in moderation.

Sorry   But seriously, my dad really does sound a lot like you and he also looks very young for his age so I think there is a lot to be said for the advice you and he are giving. I don't know about my dad's sex life and I don't wanna know, but I do know he is very healthy for a man in his sixties.