The right to mis-define oneself

[henryp]

What 'meaning' is a transgender person assigning to 'man' or 'woman' that makes it critical to be labeled as such?

All forms of prejudice are harmful because the recipient is treated as something that they are not. For example, no matter how honourable, polite or good natured a man if they are still treated like a criminal because they are black. Or a woman is treated as overly emotional or incompetent no matter how confident and skilled they may be. It's the same with being transgendered. Everyone treats you as something they expect you to be, not what you are. In each of these cases you are forced to be something that you are not.

Now if you haven't started transitioning then fair enough, you can't expect people to treat you like a woman if you don't change anything about yourself. But if you do go through hundreds of hours of painful electrolysis, difficult surgery, mood swings, be stared at in the street, risk assault or being groped, endure nightmare bureaucracy, lose all your friends and possibly your job, spend all your money on making the transition, then live life as a woman, be accepted as such, grow as an individual and have the same experiences as other women and someone then refers to you as 'him' or says that you aren't a proper woman because of something they can't see (your genes) ... then they're just being an arsehole.

Right, but you see how that's moving in the opposite direction of civil rights, yes?  The idea of 'treating someone like a woman' is now considered mildly offensive.  Treating a black person like a criminal is definitely offensive.  So as we move towards treating everyone equally, it seems like transgender is pushing for the opposite, a bit, no?