I'm running for president!!!

[Fake Messiah]

Two chocolate muffins with strawberry jam filling or no deal

Well yeah I see that some of you are expecting from me to give some promises, but I can't give any till I become the actual president and hear what guys like Koch brothers, Exxon, BP and other big companies want me to do because they have real money. I mean the money I would get from regular people wouldn't even cover my bar tab.

I guess the only thing I can promise for certain is more job opportunities for women because in my first 4 year mandate I plan to fuck 1 million american females who will be compensated from $50 and up, depending on their financial status and considering that more and more women are going into internet porn, credentials as being fucked by president will be much bigger stature then amateur porn cum bag on net. Not to mention great opportunities for cute femmes coming from other states which will be payed in green as well, but card instead of money. OMFG my dick gets hard just by thinking I'm living in WH - SO PLEASE PLEASE YOU HAVE TO VOTE FOR ME!!!!!

And also don't ask me to promise to end the wars since that is ridiculous. We need them because those million dollar missiles have to bang somewhere in order for new to be made, which then make jobs as well keeping US well armed and protected. I mean I have nothing personally against Iraqis or Afghans or Africans or who ever we're also in war with, but they have to die sometimes to keep us strong and keeping them alive is just unAmerican. We don't want to bang our rockets somewhere where there is no one because then other countries will think we aim badly and that our army is weak and then everybody will attack us. Rather bang some sheep herding camel riders and proclaim them as greatest menace for America since ever since nobody is going to miss them.

FAKE MESSIAH 2016!!