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(July 4, 2015 at 2:47 pm)Pyrrho Wrote: Love is "A strong feeling of affection." Sometimes people use the term rather loosely. And sometimes people misuse the term when what they are talking about is something else, like pure lust. If you have a really good friendship, that is a form of love.
Sometimes people confuse love with other feelings that are mixed in, which can add to the intensity of the overall feelings one has. For example, starting out with someone can include fear, where one wonders if one is making a mistake. That can add intensity to the overall feelings one has, but is not making the feeling of love stronger or more intense. It is just that one is also feeling fear. If one has not chosen poorly, that feeling of fear is likely to evaporate, and so the overall intensity of feeling is likely to diminish. Some people misinterpret that as meaning that the love has faded, when really it is just that the fear is gone.
Some people really enjoy feeling fear, which is one of the reasons people have enjoyed ghost stories and roller coasters. This also explains why some people are drawn to dangerous people, because they get a thrill from the fear.
My personal preference is for what in the OP is described as "boring," except that I do not stay with my wife because I have been with her "for so long and it's routine now." I stay with her because I love her and I enjoy her company. Sure, it would add excitement if my wife came at me with a knife now and then, but that kind of excitement I can do without. If you want that sort of thing, that is your business, but you will pay for it one way or another. But it's your life.
In my case, my wife is my best friend. I like it that way. It gives us a solid foundation and we have been happy together over 20 years. It is very likely that we will stay together for life, and be happy together for life.
What you say about it adding excitement if your wife came at you with a knife isn't what I mean when I mean an unstable kind of love. It actually annoys me when people say cliché things like the best people to have sex with are the crazy ones.
What I mean when I say I've found love in unstable relationships with girls to be more exciting I mean unstable as in they play very hard to get, you don't know when/if they're going to reply to your txts, answer your calls,
I think the expression people use for this sort of thing is being "kept on your toes." It's something that increases the thrill of the chase for me.
You are mixing in emotions with your idea of the thrill of the chase. The thrill of the chase is a separate feeling from the feeling of love. That is a different example than the one I gave (fear) about a combination of emotions, though your idea may also contain feelings of fear, as one may fear that one will fail in the chase. The thrill of the chase is something one may feel in hunting a deer, but that does not mean that one loves the deer one is hunting.
The extra intensity that you may feel is from a combination of emotions, not in the feeling of love being greater.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
