From the time I was born, I was raised to believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful God. My parents sent me to a parochial school, attended church as often as they could, and taught me the value of spirituality. In the 8th grade I was known for always referencing my faith and praying frequently.
But I've always had reservations about my beliefs. I couldn't get my mind around the fact that God would allow suffering to permeate the world despite the fact that he could stop it with the snap of his fingers. Apologists often say that he is trying to "test" us and see how much we render our love to him. But that seems to be self-centered and jealous. As if he didn't create us for collective joy, but his pleasure and disposal if he wished. I also couldn't accept that people who didn't believe in my particular deity would be condemned forever even if they dedicated their lives to the community.
I have always served my community to the best of my ability. I've founded and headed volunteer groups, civic clubs, etc. I get involved in local organization meetings, have run successful fundraisers, foster political discussion, and aspire to serve in public office as soon as I am eligible to. My question is: why is this not enough? Despite me pouring my resources into helping the needy throughout the world, I am told I cannot unlock "salvation" because I do not accept the existence of a higher power in my heart. Again, that seems very selfish. "Serve your fellow men, but suffer after death because you wouldn't follow my teachings." If I leave the world better than I found it while empowering others, why should following those beliefs have to be the end-all be-all?
Yesterday I started off my Fourth of July trying to get my relatives to discuss civics. They all scoffed and angrily told me to "relax." One of my aunts proceeded to target my copy of Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville that I was holding, saying that the Bible is the only book worth praising greatly. Instead of embracing our freedoms and critiquing our society as I hoped, they started quizzing each other on their Holy Book and pushed me out of the conversation. It goes beyond that. A week ago I was defending LGBT rights, and my uncle said I was like a "disgusting politician" for going against the word of God. All while most of the family was upset for me for not "letting loose," or accepting their definition of a good time. My mother is one of the only ones who I feel like myself around. She doesn't accept their plasticity.
Family values means accepting your relative for their differences. It means supporting gay rights. It means respecting the rights of others to not necessarily follow a religious worldview. If people realized this, the world would be a better place. As a bisexual atheist, I want us to be the change we seek.
But I've always had reservations about my beliefs. I couldn't get my mind around the fact that God would allow suffering to permeate the world despite the fact that he could stop it with the snap of his fingers. Apologists often say that he is trying to "test" us and see how much we render our love to him. But that seems to be self-centered and jealous. As if he didn't create us for collective joy, but his pleasure and disposal if he wished. I also couldn't accept that people who didn't believe in my particular deity would be condemned forever even if they dedicated their lives to the community.
I have always served my community to the best of my ability. I've founded and headed volunteer groups, civic clubs, etc. I get involved in local organization meetings, have run successful fundraisers, foster political discussion, and aspire to serve in public office as soon as I am eligible to. My question is: why is this not enough? Despite me pouring my resources into helping the needy throughout the world, I am told I cannot unlock "salvation" because I do not accept the existence of a higher power in my heart. Again, that seems very selfish. "Serve your fellow men, but suffer after death because you wouldn't follow my teachings." If I leave the world better than I found it while empowering others, why should following those beliefs have to be the end-all be-all?
Yesterday I started off my Fourth of July trying to get my relatives to discuss civics. They all scoffed and angrily told me to "relax." One of my aunts proceeded to target my copy of Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville that I was holding, saying that the Bible is the only book worth praising greatly. Instead of embracing our freedoms and critiquing our society as I hoped, they started quizzing each other on their Holy Book and pushed me out of the conversation. It goes beyond that. A week ago I was defending LGBT rights, and my uncle said I was like a "disgusting politician" for going against the word of God. All while most of the family was upset for me for not "letting loose," or accepting their definition of a good time. My mother is one of the only ones who I feel like myself around. She doesn't accept their plasticity.
Family values means accepting your relative for their differences. It means supporting gay rights. It means respecting the rights of others to not necessarily follow a religious worldview. If people realized this, the world would be a better place. As a bisexual atheist, I want us to be the change we seek.
