Some of my personal favourites....when Hallmark writers have a bad day....
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~
Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~
Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
~~~~~
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
~~~~~~
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
~~~~~~
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~
Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~
Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
~~~~~
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
~~~~~~
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
~~~~~~
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
