(August 13, 2014 at 12:21 am)Quantum1Connect Wrote: Wow! It's as if I am reading my own story. It is incredibly difficult, no doubt. Just be careful not to reciprocate the audacity of assumptions and apathy those around you might inflict upon you. Try to be better than me and be the bigger man (or woman). Take everything they say like a joke, don't let it hurt you.I guess I've been struggling with the fact that if I do end up coming out as an Atheist publically (which I most likely will once I move out) my parents will potentially be blamed for my lack of faith as if they got something horribly wrong in the whole indoctrination thing.
Trust me, sometimes we have to choose relationships over values and sometimes that means compromising our own beliefs in the sense that we have to let all the shit that the religious throw at us roll off of us. You can fight back, but if you're like me, you'll want to pick your battles because of the love for you family.
Some people just don't care and alienate their family and cut ties, but that's up to you.
How far do you go to put the relationships first though? I could alienate my family and cut ties, and they remain with a positive position within the 'greater family cell', putting their long-term benefit (I mean, I'm just one person, they have a whole grape-vine of family members in the Baptist Church).
My grandmother once said that she was glad I moved 'back' from California, because (and I quote) "The whole state is going to break off into the ocean because of all the gays and unbelievers... so much sin". (I had a minor heart attack while hearing that from her and nearly retailiated by saying "Nah, they're just moving 'Back Home'".)
Quote:It's been a couple months since I have engaged someone in my family regarding religious belief, but today I think I will have the chance with my aunt. I only chose to do so because she publicly made the claim that I had used the people in the church. I knew not how I did, so I engaged her by asking how I had used people in the church...then I backed up my evidence as to why her religion is a sham.I avoid talking about religion as much as possible with my family (mainly my mother), as they (she) has a poor concept of boundaries and little respect for 'No' and 'I'm done talking for now'. She gets terribly emotionally invested, and I'm horrible at explaining (let alone talking) when someone is ranting voilently at me.
I do have an Aunt who was very open to talking rationally about religion, and I was pleasantly surprised that she shared some of my opinions, even if she still goes by the title of 'Christian'.
I hope your talk with your Aunt goes well. (I'unno why I like this smiley so much, but it's glorious.)
Quote:These days, I don't care to much to de-converted people, but rather create mutual understanding. That and the fight to keep religion out of my government. I can get pretty nasty with that. hahaOH, friggin politics. Voted for the first time just a week (or so) ago, talk about nerve wracking. Nothing like being forced to choose between Rep. or Dem. in front of your very right-wing father. *shiver*
Quote:*hugs back*I'm both glad and sad to hear that you also share many of the experiences (or at least similar ones) to what I've gone through. It's difficult to deal with so much pre-judgement and antagonistic behavior when all that you want is to be understood. ^^"
If you need an ear to listen or someone to talk to, we are all here. Send my a PM if you would like.
Your Friend,
Q1C
I think I'll take you up on that offer soon perhaps? It's very nice to meet you.
Rae
Infp
"Fear of the truth is the greatest deterrent to its acceptance. " - Joseph Lewis
"Death means nothing to the affairs of the world. " - Joseph Lewis
"When Reason and Peace of Mind no longer act in sync, it's time to get your shit together." - Me
"Death means nothing to the affairs of the world. " - Joseph Lewis
"When Reason and Peace of Mind no longer act in sync, it's time to get your shit together." - Me