I've played with a lot of different settings. Big maps with epic time take forever. I usually play 4-6 civ maps, start in the Renaissance or later, and turn off all victory conditions except domination. I play mostly island maps as I like naval battles.
Taking cities - either rush them early before they get strong, or use siege units to weaken them until you can take them with ground units. Later, the strategy is similar, except you have more ranged units at your disposal and you can use privateers or destroyers on coastal cities.
I try to avoid conflict until I've got a very strong military, choosing instead to encourage conflict between the *other* civs.
Taking cities - either rush them early before they get strong, or use siege units to weaken them until you can take them with ground units. Later, the strategy is similar, except you have more ranged units at your disposal and you can use privateers or destroyers on coastal cities.
I try to avoid conflict until I've got a very strong military, choosing instead to encourage conflict between the *other* civs.