Some parental advice from all the lovely parentals? Non parentals also welcome :D

[Losty]

I'd say it's a combination of asking your child what she wants Losty, but at the same time making sure she sufficiently understands the long term implications of getting what she wants... I mean she might think she wants X but in the long term she'd prefer Y.

Ask what she wants, she's a smart kid... but make sure she's as informed as she is able to be

Also, if what she wants you think would actually not be beneficial to her happiness long term, despite her thinking otherwise, try to advise her and explain why you think the other choice would be better... but ultimately I still think it's best to let her decide when it comes down to it. You'd never want your child to resent you in the future for convincing her to go against her own wishes because I think we both agree that the "It's for your own good attitude" wouldn't be good parenting And that wouldn't be good for either of you.

I know we both hate that "it's for your own good" shit, and I know you'd never use that phrase itself

While I'm certainly against "because I told you so" and I hate "it's for your own good" (especially when said to adults). I will admit that after I have explained myself and answered all of the "why?"s if they still disagree with my decision it is tough luck, buttercup. I nurture the independent thinking as much as possible and I encourage them to try to make their own choices, but in the end I have to have the final say. Kids can be intelligent but they tend to lack common sense and they suck at considering the future. So yea, most of the time they don't get to have the final say.