(July 8, 2010 at 3:23 pm)Cego_Colher Wrote: Well, you avoided getting raped, by defending yourself, although, I imagine you where talking about clothes. If they are going to rape someone they are going to do it regardless of what the woman is wearing. I think that wearing sexy clothes might make someone a more likely target. Maybe if what she was wearing turned him on, but I'm not a rapist or even a guy so I have no... I can't think of a word that could go here, but am I making sense? but I tend to dress modestly and am of the impression that dressing sexily doesn't help the idea of getting all men to stop thinking of women as objects. (of course, if he already doesn't think that it probably won't change his mind.) Sometimes, I wear female clothes-- like today. (I usually find female clothes uncomfortable, anyway.)
And that's the point. The clothes don't matter. Just being a woman is enough.
When recounting what happened to me, I've been asked 'well, why were you there in the first place?' and had it heavily implied 'that's what you get for acting like a man'.
By claiming a woman bears some responsibility for what happened, what you are doing is justifying the rape and absolving the rapist of some level of blame. It's saying that it's a lesser crime to rape a woman in sexy clothes than it is to rape a woman in ugly clothes. It's saying that it is more understandable to rape a woman in high heels than it is to rape a woman in sneakers.
You (general you) can deny that's what you meant, but if you are honest with yourself, it's exactly what you meant.
The only person with any level of control over whether or not an attempt at rape occurs is the rapist. Thus the only person who bears any level of responsibility for the rape is the rapist.
I should be allowed to wear sexy clothes on my way home from a party at night without fear. It is not my behavior that needs to change, but the behavior of the rapist. I did not incite the rape.