Objectifying women

[Violet]

So in addition to being a 'nice girl', one has to be a 'popular girl' as we

Not necessarily... there are such things as:

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/images/...%20eye.jpg

http://www.dcsa.bizland.com/10-handguns.jpg

Or if you are kinda rich: http://www.privateinvestigator.co.za/Ima...yguard.gif

Plenty of interesting ways to protect one's person (or their things) are available to just about anyone. Some are more effective than others... but one can repurpose a great number of things to threaten great injury upon attackers

My friend was raped in a public area. There are women who have been raped on a subway with other people around. Sexual assaults and groping in public is commonplace.

Then always take a close quarters combat weapon (or fifty) with you in said places. Perhaps don't mingle with the crowd (yet stay in clear sight of it).

Are often useless when the time comes.

How so?

Ah, so, if I was more observant, I wouldn't have been attacked, right?

If you were observant and acted off of what you observed... then very likely yes. It does you no good to be the most observant thing in the universe to not act when you should. And acting without observing can often be as bad or worse.

No, just one of the largest and most common reasons. Having dealt with people like you since my attack, who like to 'help' by pointing out all the things I theoretically could have done to 'avoid' the attack, sometimes I wish I'd kept my mouth shut too. But then, that wouldn't help. Rubbing your nose in your crap and trying to make you understand how your BLAME of the woman does not and will not help the situation other than to silence women, that might just help.

If you are a jeweler, and a someone takes some of your jewels because you left them all in open cases... I should rather think telling you things you could have done to avoid it happening would be of foremost use to you... and sometimes these things are not so "common sense" as you seem to think.

And I suppose rubbing the dog's face in the crap they left on your kitchen floor doesn't help the situation either...?

Because if it wasn't for people like you, rape wouldn't be such a life destroying ordeal. A woman would only have to suffer the attack. She wouldn't have to suffer the judgmental eyes of people like you, people who will always weigh and measure her and wonder how she contributed to the attack. Because if they'd just behaved properly and looked out for themselves, they wouldn't have been attacked.

I disagree... as one can easily do their best and still not do well enough. There is absolutely nothing 'wrong' (as I see it) with people forming judgements... and I do not believe that many people even often (and hardly always) wonder how the raped individual contributed to the raping. Indeed... if you would so kindly read from page 1: this concept was heavily argued from the onset (that the victim contributes to 'the crime')... and has been argued in more than just this thread. Fact is: people don't always think that the raped were in any way responsible for being raped... and indeed I think few people (in relation to the rest) understand that the victim is quite often a part of the causal chain of the event that is considered a crime. Fewer still hold the victim as a responsible entity in said crime.

It's how people like you live with yourselves. It's how you convince yourselves that you and your loved ones are safe. After all, none of your loved ones are tawdry sluts and they take care of themselves and look out for themselves, so they won't be raped, right?

I live with myself by convincing myself (and my loved ones) I'm safe? Hardly. I hope that safety is what I have... but I do not trust it. I have faith that the ground will not suddenly vanish beneath my feet... but I do not have faith that the car traveling my direction will not hit me while I'm walking on the road. I actually adapt to a number of dangers... because safety really is fleeting. It's all I can do to prepare against what I can reasonably expect.

It's easier to measure out responsibility to the victim than it is to actually do something about rape. Because you objectify women, and you don't want to deal with the simple fact that your behavior contributes to rape culture. It's easier to blame the victim than it is to cope with the fact that some of your thoughts mirror those of the rapist.

???? I don't mind if the rapist is also aware that the victim is likely at some fault. What is rape culture?????? 0.o

The 'damaged goods', it's amusing your mind leaped there immediately. Well, disgusting might be a better word for it. It illustrates that your thought processes go exactly what I described above. Your girl got raped, so she isn't a 'nice girl' anymore, and since she's just an object, dump her and get a new one.

Every thing is an object. You are a thing, just as I am a thing. Being an object does not make you worthless... but rather: it makes you REAL.

If it wasn't for people like you apportioning blame, fewer guys would think that way. But hey, easier to blame the victim than it is to make yourself a better person.

And what would you have us do with blame instead? Does it matter all that much what some guys think? I can't think of a better person than myself

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...Yes, because the only way not to get in a car accident is not to drive.

Though that's not to say someone can't run you over while you're walking ^_^