Objectifying women

[Eilonnwy]

Eilonnwy -

I'm not claiming that people who have been victims can't have a clear and logical understanding of victim blaming. I'm saying that In This Mind doesn't. You don't have to be a victim to lose touch with reality about victim blaming, and being a victim doesn't automatically mean that you lose touch. If you think that what I'm saying is victim = lost touch with reality, then that's not correct. Thankfully, many victims pick themselves up and assess what happened realistically. There's a distinction between what I'm saying and what you think I'm saying. It's all too easy to jump to conclusions and read into people's words.

You're wrong. In His Mind has a very clear understanding of victim blaming and has expressed it better than I could in areas, regardless of her status as a victim.

And what about me? I'm arguing the same thing she has, yet I've never been a victim of sexual assault or rape. It's funny how you all seem to jump on her, claim she's arguing irrationally, but she hasn't. She's been very clear and you all refuse to see it, clinging to "common sense", throwing her victim status back in her face, refuse to see the victim blaming when it's right in front of your nose it couldn't be any closer. The cognitive dissonance in this thread is so vast, no one could swim it.

Do I get a free pass because I'm an admin? Are my arguments more valid because I've never been raped? You know I was asked privately when this first started if I had been raped, because I got a bit emotional. I didn't realize at the time how offensive that question was. It doesn't matter, my status as a non victim, and In His Mind's status of a victim do not negate or support the argument we both agree on 100%

And you know what, maybe you all just don't get, and really don't understand. Or maybe you're so uncomfortable with the possibility that you could really be victim blaming, that you refuse to see it? How do you like me suggesting your mental or emotional state in this discussion? Not fun, right?

Now emotions have run hot in this thread on both sides, but back in the beginning of this thread I probably got as bad as In His Mind did with the insults. Now I did apologize for the name flinging, but I didn't back down from my arguments. Emotions have run high on both ends, and you all have given as good as it you got. And now look at you all. We're all so butthurt were getting right back to it. In His Mind has a slew of negative reps, all for disagreeing with you guys on an emotionally charged issue. One of them just calls her a bitch. I'm going to delete that one, and the corresponding one she gave in return, because negative repping because you don't like someone is not allowed. We allow negative reps to stand if there's a reason based on the arguments they've presented to do so, not because you have a grudge.

Furthermore, if I was a rape victim being told my argument was not valid because it was from the perspective of a victim, I probably couldn't be able to form a coherent thought over the rage. I don't know how she does it. Not only do I agree with In His Mind, I admire her. (And NO, I am not excusing the insults she has made)

Now I'm going to say this now before the argument continues. The name flinging on both sides, is unacceptable. If it kicks up again, I will lock this thread. If anyone tries to argue, "Well she did it first, he did it first" I will lock this thread. This thread has gone too long without someone putting their foot down on the name calling, and since this is getting heated again, I'm making this clear. I'm not claiming innocence, I'm claiming it has to stop.

Now, let's have a rational discussion here. I've provided many arguments, and In His Mind has posted very informative articles. None of you have given a clear refutation beyond "Common Sense" and "In His Mind is arguing from a victims perspective, so her opinion is skewed". Granted, it's been recently posted, so many of you will not have had a chance to reply. So not claiming everyone here has done so.

But if you're going to reply: debate the points made. Read the damn articles.