Objectifying women

[Eilonnwy]

Eilonnwy -

What you're saying is that a woman can't tell, at the time, whether or not she's at risk, or what she can do to try and minimise any risk. What I'm saying is that she may or may not be able to do those things, and also even in hindsight she may or may not be able to tell where it all went wrong. I'm also saying that she should try, to the best of her ability and knowledge, to assess those things, and do what she can to minimise any perceived risk, as opposed to consciously not bothering to assess anything or try to minimise any risk.In other words, be careful, not careless. That's what responsibility is.

If you go into a bar and in your opinion you decide that there's very little risk, and that all you have to do to minimise any risk that there might possibly be is to simply not wear anything too revealing, and you do nothing else, and you then get raped, one can say that you at least took responsibility for yourself. Whether you were correct in your judgment or not, and whether you get raped or not, and regardless of your assessment of the situation in hindsight, you still showed responsibility. You tried. You decided to own your life and your safety and at least you tried. That's all that matters, your attitude. You can live your entire life being careless, and never get raped, but you'll still be a fool, and a lucky one at that. And you can live your whole life being careful, yet get raped over and over again, but you will still be a responsible person, albeit a very unlucky one.

So basically what you saying is that every second of a woman's life needs to be assessed to evaluate the risk of rape. Furthermore, when a rape is being committed, she should assess whether he is the type to kill her for fighting back or lay down and take it. Please tell me, Godhead, are you always assessing the risk when you walk down the street of who is going rape you? Because men get raped too. How about, do you assess the risk of what clothes you wear will target you for a mugging? And tell me, in a moment of crisis, how calm and cool is your head for assessing the best course of action? Please tell me, because I want to know how a woman can constantly assess her risk of rape every time she goes outside, especially when we've repeatedly told you, the majority of women get raped are raped by someone they know. I'm more likely to get raped by a man I know walking me home at night than a stranger rapist who has already made a decision to rape and will find someone anyway. Also, please tell me how you would advise men not to get raped. Should men not walk alone at night? Are you not struck with the apparent sexism that women shouldn't?

Everyone who thinks it's common sense to not wear certain clothing and not walk outside alone have basically claimed knowledge that they know what a rapists thinks and does. You've decided that rapists must be drawn to sexy clothing and a woman not surrounded by friends, despite the statistics that show rapists don't remember their victim's clothing, and the yanked off the street rape is the rarest form. Every time a women who fits that criteria gets raped, you've confirmed your unsubstantiated conclusion, (Note confirmation bias) and then you blame her for it by telling her she should have "assessed her risk, not worn that clothing, you were a fool for going out at night". Meanwhile statistics show that the majority of rape victims were raped by someone they know. Your well intentioned advice was useless. Your well intentioned advice leads to the stigma of rape victims being blamed for their rape, looking for something he or she could have done to avoid the rape. Your well intentioned advice is used as a way for men to get away with it when brought to court.

Interestingly enough, One survey showed that women are more likely to victim blame.

I don't know why you all refuse to see it. For people who often say "show me the evidence", we have and you still refuse, with out bringing up any reliable evidence of your own. You're being dogmatic in this as much a religious fundies, and refusing to see evidence that's right in front of your face. You're so convinced by your preconceived notions and your "common sense" that you let it win over every statistic we show, every report we show, every psychological study we show on the real problem of victim blaming. I've explained it in so many different ways, but nothing will get through. This is facts causing a backfire in action. And what's worse, you start attacking a victim for standing up for herself and relaying the facts. Say she can't think rationally about this because she was attacked. The condescending and misogynistic attitude in here is appalling. I can only imagine that your unwillingness to admit to victim blaming is why you've decided to neg rep her all over the place when she has given consisted logical reasoning backed by evidence, and all the rest of you have is "common sense" and refer to rape statistics that show only reported statistics when everyone knows rape is the most underreported crime thanks to victim blaming you all perpetuate.

I don't think anyone here is not well intentioned and doesn't care for women, but your good intentions are wrong. Intentions aren't magic, it doesn't change how wrong you all are.

As In His Mind pointed out, rape is reduced when your educate men on what consent is, sexual harassment, etc...not when you tell women to cover up and walk home with someone.

Everything you all espouse about rape is myth, and I'm sorry you all can't or won't see it.

Myth: Only "bad" women get raped.
Fact: No other crime victim is looked upon with the degree of suspicion and doubt as a victim of rape. Although there are numerous reasons why society has cast blame on the victims of rape, a major reason found in studies is that of a feeling of self protection. If one believes that the victim was responsible because she put herself in an unsafe position, such as being out late at night, drinking alcohol, dressing in a certain way, or "leading on" the rapist, then we are able to feel safer because "we wouldn't do those things." But, the basic fact remains that without consent, no means no, no matter what the situation or circumstances.

Myth: Rape only happens to young attractive women.
Fact: Rape can and does strike anyone at anytime. Age, social class, ethnic group and has no bearing on the person a rapist chooses to attack. Research data clearly proves that a way a woman dresses and / or acts does not influence the rapists choice of victims. His decision to rape is based on how easily he perceives his target can be intimidated. Rapists are looking for available and vulnerable targets.
Statistics were obtained from various sources including the study Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center, The Federal Bureau of Investigations and the National Crime Survey.

Myth: Only certain kinds of people get raped. It cannot happen to me.
FACTRapists act without considering their victim's physical appearance, dress, age, race, gender, or social status. Assailants seek out victims who they perceive to be vulnerable. The Orange County Rape Crisis Center has worked with victims from infancy to ninety-two years of age and from all racial and socioeconomic backgrounds.