RE: Objectifying women
July 18, 2010 at 2:07 pm
(This post was last modified: July 18, 2010 at 2:08 pm by Paul the Human.)
(July 18, 2010 at 1:50 pm)Eilonnwy Wrote: Would you tell a gay man to be careful if he leaves with another man at a bar? Does a man get any censure at all for wearing certain clothing, being out alone, etc... if he is raped? Is a man advised about this ad nauseum for being a man and having crosses to bear?
If you answer no, then that no points to an underlying sexism.
That situation has actually happened to me, so I know the answer. A gay male friend of mine was at the bar with a bunch of us (this was years ago when a I was single and partied a lot) and hooked up with someone he had just met that very evening. I (along with some of the others) tried to convince him not to leave with the guy, because he didn't know him. Eventually, we convinced him to bring the guy along to the after-bar party with the rest of us. He turned out to be a lot of fun.
I understand what you are getting at, though. Do I feel women are at more risk of rape than men and therefore need more advice? Yes and no. Women are more at risk to be raped, because men are generally the ones that commit rape. I'm not sexist at all, but I do understand that there are differences, both physical and emotional, between the sexes. I am not someone that clings to gender-roles in any way.
(July 18, 2010 at 1:50 pm)Eilonnwy Wrote: I think, from interactions we have had here, that you're wonderful person, and I think everyone else here is a good person. Pointing out apparent sexism or flaws in thinking that, while good intentioned, cause harm does not mean we think people who have these thoughts are bad people. Being a good person doesn't mean you can't give bad advice, make bad choices, or do a disservice to someone unintentionally. No one's perfect. And calling people on their incorrect views, despite being well intentioned, in no way implies we think you are all bad people.
Thank you, Eilonnwy. I have mucho respect for you, so that means a lot. I understand that you are not literally accusing any of us, except maybe Dotard (Kidding! Sorry! Couldn't resist!) of being bad people and I also know that this is a subject that you take very, very seriously. I even get your concerns about some of the things that have been said in this thread, but I feel that a lot of things have been taken too literally... or had their meanings completely twisted around. But not by you.