Gameslover -
We're not saying that we won't ever get raped. Who said that? Or are you just assuming that someone said it? Also, your post gives something away about you. You actually think that being raped would necessarily result in the victim thinking like you. Oprah Winfrey (among many, many others) is an example of someone who does not think like you. She was raped repeatdly by a relative, and she herself has said that after feeling sorry for herself for some time, she decided to pick herself up, and take personal responsibility for herself. Look at her now. She understands the difference between personal responsibility, and blame, and has said so in interviews. And I know a girl who was raped, and guess what, this is her attitude :
I was careless, and therefore I share responsibility for what happened. I acknowledge that I contributed to what happened
I'm not to blame
I will from now on take responsibility for everything that happens to me, even if it's not my fault
She now takes responsibility for everything. Recently she lost her job and it wasn't her fault at all, and she felt sorry for herself, before feeling disgusted at such an attitude, and she promptly picked herself up. She detests the attitude that one has no responsibility just because they're the victim. If she was here she'd be disgusted with you.
So please don't preach to us about what a victim thinks, and we know the difference between responsibility and blame, as do many victims. I'm so sorry that you were unfortunate enough to be raped, but you are the one who owns your life, not the perpetrator. If you own a car and someone destroys it, you are responsible. Why? Because the car belongs to you, not the person who destroyed it. They can walk away and laugh, you can't. Pick yourself up, think about the difference between responsibility and blame, and take some (responsibility). Your life and your safety belongs to you, not some punk who might rape you. The rule of thumb is : If you own it, you're responsible for it. Think of your safety as as if it was your son or daughter. It's yours, do what you can to look after it. And if you get it wrong, at least you had the right attitude and you tried. No one here is blaming you, we're trying to help you. I'm sorry to be so harsh and I didn't want to lecture you but sometimes that's how it is. And don't have a go at us as no one here has raped you. The event is over now, and you have an opportunity to think clearly. We all have problems, and we must own them. I have a big issue in my life which has haunted me for years (worse than yours), you're not the only one with problems. Anyone who messes with you is an idiot, and is failing to take responsibility for their behaviour, but you shouldn't let that make you fail in your responsibility to do your best to look after yourself. Is there anything that will definitely reduce your chances of being raped? Who knows, but you can try, and that's all we're saying. I don't even care about the details, just as long as you acknowledge that no rapist is going to try and reduce the odds, only can make that attempt.
We're not saying that we won't ever get raped. Who said that? Or are you just assuming that someone said it? Also, your post gives something away about you. You actually think that being raped would necessarily result in the victim thinking like you. Oprah Winfrey (among many, many others) is an example of someone who does not think like you. She was raped repeatdly by a relative, and she herself has said that after feeling sorry for herself for some time, she decided to pick herself up, and take personal responsibility for herself. Look at her now. She understands the difference between personal responsibility, and blame, and has said so in interviews. And I know a girl who was raped, and guess what, this is her attitude :
I was careless, and therefore I share responsibility for what happened. I acknowledge that I contributed to what happened
I'm not to blame
I will from now on take responsibility for everything that happens to me, even if it's not my fault
She now takes responsibility for everything. Recently she lost her job and it wasn't her fault at all, and she felt sorry for herself, before feeling disgusted at such an attitude, and she promptly picked herself up. She detests the attitude that one has no responsibility just because they're the victim. If she was here she'd be disgusted with you.
So please don't preach to us about what a victim thinks, and we know the difference between responsibility and blame, as do many victims. I'm so sorry that you were unfortunate enough to be raped, but you are the one who owns your life, not the perpetrator. If you own a car and someone destroys it, you are responsible. Why? Because the car belongs to you, not the person who destroyed it. They can walk away and laugh, you can't. Pick yourself up, think about the difference between responsibility and blame, and take some (responsibility). Your life and your safety belongs to you, not some punk who might rape you. The rule of thumb is : If you own it, you're responsible for it. Think of your safety as as if it was your son or daughter. It's yours, do what you can to look after it. And if you get it wrong, at least you had the right attitude and you tried. No one here is blaming you, we're trying to help you. I'm sorry to be so harsh and I didn't want to lecture you but sometimes that's how it is. And don't have a go at us as no one here has raped you. The event is over now, and you have an opportunity to think clearly. We all have problems, and we must own them. I have a big issue in my life which has haunted me for years (worse than yours), you're not the only one with problems. Anyone who messes with you is an idiot, and is failing to take responsibility for their behaviour, but you shouldn't let that make you fail in your responsibility to do your best to look after yourself. Is there anything that will definitely reduce your chances of being raped? Who knows, but you can try, and that's all we're saying. I don't even care about the details, just as long as you acknowledge that no rapist is going to try and reduce the odds, only can make that attempt.
