Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Joods]

Steve,

My heart hurts for you. I know you probably don't believe it and that's okay. But here's the thing I'd like you to think about - Sam would never want you to continue to mentally beat yourself up over this. She just wouldn't.

In order for you to truly move on, you need to start letting go of the past. Listen to some of the advice on here and let some of that marinate because, without sugar coating anything - no one is ever going to replace Sam, nor should they want to. But if you want to move forward, it's not fair to anyone you meet to compare them to her or to the love you had for her. I think maybe you fear that if you allow yourself to love someone else, that you will forget about Sam.

Trust me - you won't. Allow yourself to set your emotions free. To set your mind free so that you can mentally get to a healthy state and realize that perhaps someone is out there looking for you. Not what you had with Sam, because that's something that was unique and special between the two of you. But think about what you could have with a new person, if you only allow it.

And for the record - stop saying you are ugly. You aren't ugly and I rather think that's an insult to Sam's tastes because obviously she found you handsome, fell in love and married you. Sam would never want to see all the negativity and thoughts of despair that you carry around with you. She would want you to be happy and to move on with your life. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her. 

You don't have to take any of the advice offered here, but I kinda think it's progress when you are willing to allow others to step inside your private space and offer an olive branch so that you can learn to move on with your life in a positive way. Whether you believe it or not - many people here really do love you.  We've gotten to know you and some of us have felt your pain. I, for one, will never forget the front door incident. That is something that will stay with me for life because of the love that a bunch of internet friends (read: family) have for you and were concerned enough about your life that an intervention through a lot of phone calls was necessary. None of that would have happened if we didn't care about you. It's a comforting thought to know that people from literally other continents were worried enough about you to prompt calls to save your life. 

If you don't think anyone out here loves you, then honestly, I really don't know what to tell you. None of us can take away your pain, but we can all try our best to encourage you to rediscover who you are so that you can learn to love yourself. You can't love anyone else until you learn to do that first and it wouldn't be fair to ask someone to love you if you can't even love yourself.

Once you come to the conclusion that you and you alone are responsible for your own happiness, then you can offer that happiness to a relationship to make it whole. But, if you are looking for someone else to make you happy - it'll never work. It comes from inside you. Learn to recognize it and allow it to grow and maybe the next person you meet will see the wonderful person that Sam saw in you. And maybe, just maybe, you can allow yourself to be loved again. 

For what it's worth - if I lived near you, I'd like to date you. I've seen your pictures and have heard your voice thanks to the staff interviews. I gotta say - there's something about a British accent that I happen to find attractive. My only condition would be that you had to make an actual effort to start loving yourself again and to allow yourself to be truly happy. 

I think perhaps it's time to evict yourself from the past because you don't live there anymore.