a new atheist and marriage

[Brian37]

Well let's see....

I was working until about a month ago. Back to being a SAHM. However.... DrFuzzy mentions in her post a part about being a SAHM while the dad works and is the major bread winner and how he gets to decide how the money is spent.

This might be true in many households, but not in mine. I control where the money goes. He makes it, I see fit to keep the roof over our heads and the bills paid. If not - we wouldn't be in a house. He has zero control over himself when he has money in his hands. Wants to spend, spend, spend. I can't live like that and I won't. I have to know that we have xx amount set aside for an upcoming bill, that way when it comes in, we pay it right away.

If you put $100 in his hands and $100 in mine - at the end of the day, he will have spent most of it on shit he doesn't need. At the end of the day, I will have that same $100 in my hands because I'm saving it to pay on a bill. That is the difference between the two of us.

Thanks Nymphadora!  I was remiss!  I have also seen that arrangement - where the wife is the money manager - I forgot to mention it.  Yes, there are SO many variations when it comes to couples and household management.  I still assert that good communication is key, and equality (as much as is possible!) is optimal.

^^^^^^ SOOOOOO MUCH THIS........... 

Leadership vs being lead is not the key, it isn't about who does what or who makes more, but communication and cooperation and consent. 

I feel the same about doctors and first responders. Why should I give one fuck whom saves my life? I don't see household management any different. If both parties consent and they are happy and it works, then it is nobody else's business who is in the lead.