A question for the ladies of AF

[Edwardo Piet]

Thena have you spoken to CL at all outside this thread? Do you know her personality at all? It kinda feels like you don't and you just walked in this thread and came to your own conclusions. Now I'm not saying I know CL in real life but after being friends with her on FB and chatting with her here on this site it's pretty obvious that she isn't playing these games you accuse her of. Your insistence that she is and saying we are pretty much blind to her actions does come off as quite rude.

CL I actually noticed the same thing about the women here so I get why you would ask. It does seem like an interesting experiment. I think the whole aspect of atheists are usually more open to voicing who they really are seems to allow for the true numbers of sexual orientation to show up. I honestly think that without politics and religion the whole world would be more of the ratio that we see here. People are just scared to come out in other communities which is why I kinda think the assuming Muslims don't have gays is a little naive. They have them they just won't admit it. Even if people aren't getting killed everyone knows even in the states people are getting thrown out of their families, social circles, religions, etc. It's a lot to lose so many don't risk it. Then there are the ones that are ashamed and that's a whole other story.

Sorry for the long winded post.

I agree wholeheartedly. And I'll also add that it's sometimes possible to tell how someone really feels or what they really believe, because unless someone is an especially good actor (and most people aren't), it's not particularly easy to hide one's true feelings from everybody. So I think that actually leads to self-deception and/or repression, which would explain the fact that many people who eventually come out talk about 'finding themselves' . . . I think that society can be so oppressive that the only way for people to effectively hide sometimes, is for them to hide from themselves (If even you yourself don't know what you really feel, then no one else can detect what you really feel). But when people hide from or deceive themselves, it is certainly not done consciously, however. I think when people aren't aware of what they truly feel until later, it's most likely because of a subconscious defense mechanism protecting them from oppressive and judgemental people.

I guess what I'm saying is, if it weren't for societies being so oppressive against homosexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals, transsexuals, etc, etc, there would be less non-heterosexual people discovering what their true sexuality is later in life.

True, some, or many, non-heterosexual people may indeed have known their true sexuality all along, but they were afraid to express it. But I think in some cases when people speak of finding themselves or coming in touch with themselves, it's not just a matter of finally feeling safe to be open and honest with people, sometimes it's a matter of genuinely discovering their true sexuality, and perhaps the reason why it took so long was that the only way to successfully hide themselves from an oppressive society, was for them to hide their true feelings from themselves (Again, if even you yourself don't know what you really feel, then no one else can detect what you really feel). I think this might also explain why people sometimes feel rather conflicted about their sexuality: Because society's and family's and friend's expectations are a powerful force, and sometimes there is a strong mismatch between those expectations and how oneself feels deep down. And perhaps that force is so powerful that it can sometimes cause people to convince themselves that they are something they are not . . . but deep down, they still have their real sexuality, whether they are aware of it or not, and that is where the feelings of conflict come from.

Perhaps if it were not for such oppressive expectations, there would be less people feeling conflicted about their sexuality. What do you think?

Perhaps there is some truth to what I say and what I wonder here, but perhaps I am over-analyzing. Perhaps both.

I do think there is some truth to what I am saying here, however, because I certainly don't think 100% of cases where people come in touch with their true sexuality is people admitting what their sexuality really is when they feel safe to come out. I do think that many people really are blind to their own sexuality, because I think oppression can be so powerful a force that it can actually convince people that they're something they're not.