The Answer Is "Missouri."

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I never, EVER insist on coming home to a cooked dinner every night, but I have selfish reasons - my wife might easily be the most awful cook since Lucrezia Borgia concocted the first belladonna and ground glass casserole.  The spice rack in our kitchen cringes when she walks past it and the milk in the fridge curdles in self-protective suicide.

She used to attempt cooking on a sporadic and disappointing basis, though.  It isn't easy to find the words to describe the horror that was her venison stew, or the biscuits that could have readily doubled as ninja throwing stars.

But I'm not telling tales out of school - Ellen knows she's a horrid cook, and will no longer try to cook even for herself.  If I'm not available, she'll make due with cold cereal or bread and butter (toast counts as 'cooking').

Boru

I can't even imagine not being able to cook. I was flipping pancakes in the air at age 10 and making the holiday lasagna by 15. I was born with a wooden spoon in my mouth and I have pasta sauce for blood.

Herself is convinced that the only reason we have a kitchen is that it came with the house. 

Boru