Just some things I’d like to know about you.

[Edwardo Piet]

Dragon, unicorn, or turkey?

Dragon. Unicorn is for somebody else... and turkey? We have a few of them around here lol.

How old do you wish you were?

29. The age I am. I don't wanna be older because... I don't wanna be older. And I don't wanna be younger because I don't wanna do this all the fuck over again lol.

Do you like cake?

Well, I love chocolate... and I love cake. But I don't like chocolate cake. But I love some cake like carrot cake and cheesecake (is cheesecake a cake?) and stuff. And banana cake. Mmm.

Hot pink, dark greenish brown, or tan?

Dark greenish brown.

Do you sleep with or without socks?

With. Unless it's really hot at night.

Do you have any moles? Where?

Yes. One on my hip.

Do you sit or hover over public toilet seats?

Sit... after wiping it down. Those places are disgusting.

That's right, I clean up after strangers lol.

How often do you play air guitar?

Never. As I feel silly and think it makes me look like a hipster pleb.

Do you think increasing the frequency of air guitaring will improve your life?

No.

Carrots, jelly, or rutabaga?

Rutabaga every fucking time! I could eat that every day!

I like carrots and jelly too a lot though.

What is the last thing you cooked?

Hmmm.... I think it was microwavable fish, chips and mushy peas lol.

Or, in the toaster oven I cooked some oven chips to have with bread and butter.

Do you have any interesting superstitions?

I'm afraid not. But I could make one up if that would be fun.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

I'd pay an attractive woman with sex, just to get a Klondike bar!

Of course I'd do that anyway, lol.

I'd also pay an attractive man with money. For a Klondike bar that is (those unattractive men can fuck off on the other hand I don't want their Klondike! ).

What's your favorite year from before you were born? Why?

1989 because it's the year my favorite band ever formed and also the year someone I happen to know who is awesome was born

Apples or tennis shoes?

Apples. Apples are great.

And beside, apples don't make great feet. Wait I totally confused myself.

Which is your favorite finger? Why?

The verb "to finger" when used on a hot woman. Why? Need I say?

Do you like answering questions about answering questions?

Yes I love it as do I love other self-referential humor

When you play air guitar do you nod your head?

If I played air guitar I would totally nod my head as I do that anyway even without the air guitar