RE: How do you honestly feel about younger people complaining about being old?
May 6, 2018 at 7:23 am
(May 5, 2018 at 9:49 pm)Hammy Wrote: It's all relative. Who cares what the older people think I'm 30 this year and I've done next to NOTHING with my life... at least those older fuckers have lived their life (at this rate I'll have done nothing when I'm their age...... I went to school for 1 year from age 5-6, I've never had any friends outside the internet, I've never had a paid job, I have no formal education or qualifiactions or degrees, I haven't finished one college or uni course (so neither pass nor fail) and I had one relationship in RL that involved being financially exploited by a sociopathic bitch... so............ what have I been doing with my life since age 12? Well, the internet. That's it. Games, YouTube... chatting with people online... since I was 12 and I'm 30 this year... that is my life. Aside from that I've been in and out of mental hospitals, having mental breakdowns , been mistreated and condescended by my family before escaping and living alone (after living with my bitch ex who moved a new boyfriend she had only known 2 weeks into our home and fucked him in our bedroom just after me and her had split up).... living on disability, no paid or earned life (no plans, goals or ambitions, no future)... and it's taken 29 years to learn I have autism)
.... so I feel old as hell and would miss out on nothing if I didn't wake up tomorrow (although I do enjoy life moment to moment and I am not even 1% suicidal).... so yeah... I mean. It's all relative. You can be old and feel young and you can be young...ish. And feel old. It's the feeling that counts. It's all subjective and relative.
We have some things in common. I too am in my 30's and feel I have done nothing significant with my life. I have also been diagnosed with a serious mental illness most people have never heard of. I will say my mental health is getting better as I age, but that doesn't make me feel "young." In truth, the trauma of mental illness is something that can in fact make one feel very old. I too have not completed a single college course, but I aim to rectify that. Well, I completed about 1/3 of a degree from ITT Technical Institute but got out when I saw the kind of jobs graduates were getting. Ironically, or not so ironically, depending on how you look at it, ITT Tech went under about a year or two after I quit. Not to say the whole thing was pointless, I learned a lot about how circuits work which can be valuable info to have. I am enrolling in School at a local community college taking a class in the summer, just to get my feet wet. Not sure exactly what I want to do yet specifically, but probably something in the hard sciences, or the complete opposite of that, in psychology.
The biggest lesson I have learned is that you can always recommit to your goals even if you have failed many many times. It takes the right kind of awareness to learn something like that and I attribute learning that lesson to therapy. You only get out of therapy what you put in is another lesson I have learned. In any case, it's never too late to start something new. My world completely opened up (or closed, depending on how you look at it) when I discovered computers. The internet gave me a huge sandbox to play in, people to debate, things to learn, resources, knowledge, and I learned about of something I am now very passionate about from a personality website: Forum Mafia. I am very happy playing Mafia every day and if there was an option to get paid for playing, I would totally make that my goal.
But your individuality and your present need will be swept away by change,
and what you now ardently desire will one day become the object of abhorrence.
~ Schiller - 'Psychological Types'
