I'm about to be a multi-millionaire!

[The Grand Nudger]

Eager Dying Beaver!  I woke up this am to another piece of correspondence from Long Suffering Sharon.  

Beloved ,Just receive the fund and use 80% to help the less privileged, 20% for your time and expenses.I assure you this is a very simple process, and have in mind that the funds was deposited in a bank in Turkey.I want you to know that you will not have to travel to anywhere all we will need to do is for the bank to recognize you as my Next Of Kin so that the funds can be transferred to you directly.

Please send me the below information to enable me know you more better and inform my lawyer of your person,

Full Name:

Phone number:

Contact address:

Age :

Occupation:

 
I await your urgent reply.

The Elders and I held a prayer session for you this morning, and we felt the presence of Christ Jesus.  You can find all of my contact details from the link on our message boards.  I do alot of rural outreach here, so I;m often out of service on my direct line, but you can all anytime between our normal business hours.  I already told Cathy to help you with anything you need, you can leave a message with her if I;m not in my office or on my voicemail and you have my direct email.  It's probably easier to get ahold of me here.  Things are so hectic around tax time!



I think that your idea of sending a picture is fantastic.  The children and I want to send you get well cards.  If you could send us the address of the hospital, and ward, and room number that would be fantastic as well.  There are nine children currently in our care, I tell them that they're my little diamonds in the rough.  They're all very excited and wanted me to tell you that they;re praying for you as well.   I have an idea, and maybe I could speak with the nurses in your ward to help put together something really great for the little ones and also for promotional material for our program.  If you could write a personalized message on a poster board, with nine diamonds (one for each of the children) drawn on it, we could include that here in our outreach pamphlets.  We like to profile our  donors as an example to others of how to truly emulate our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I'm sure someone has some glitter in their desk, maybe the staff could ask around in admitting for a few markers or highlighters.  It would really fill their hearts with joy to see the face of such generosity.


All of our thoughts and prayers go out to you in this trying time.  I look forward to receiving your picture and will await contact from your lawyer regarding the details of the transaction.  

.......and now we wait.  Sister Smith won;t be hearing from our helpful youth coordinator for a few days...as there will be a horrible tragedy.  The Harvest Ministry Youth Center will partially burn down from a lit smoke hastily disposed of in the paper recycling bin (rebellious teens!), and we need her generous donation now more than ever!