How to approach relationships?

[KevinM1]

It's impossible to tell what you're going to feel once you get into a relationship, so wondering how it will compare to your feelings for this other girl is kinda pointless.  You just have to get into a relationship and see what happens.  And if it doesn't happen in that one, get into a different one.  The thing about relationships is that they offer a lot of potential for growth.  Even unsuccessful ones can be worthwhile in that regard.  For better or worse, it adds something to your life, and I wouldn't miss it if I were you.  (I'm not necessarily speaking from experience.  I've been celibate the latter half of my life, due to serious mental health issues.  I've pretty much resigned myself to singlehood, and feeling somewhat undesirable.  But I still think about it.  It probably would do me good to get out there and start dating again now that my health has improved.  There's nothing wrong with not dating.  But there are things that are right with dating that you won't get anywhere else.)

Well what I mean is that I would not feel the same level of emotion by dating another girl.

How do you know?

No, really, how do you know?  Almost everyone in the history of the species thinks that their first crush/love is the best one, and everything else will pale in comparison...

...until they actually meet someone better.  And that happens far, far more often than not.  Yeah, first crushes, first loves have that novelty factor, but there's literally nothing about them that's 'special' outside of being first.  And life isn't typically a sappy Hallmark Movie.  Most people don't stay with their high school or college sweetheart.

I'll let you in on a secret: I was in a stable relationship for 2.5 years at the end of high school/beginning of college (which is pretty solid given my physical disability).  I thought she was The One™.  Then, she broke up with me.  I thought she was the best person I could've possibly been with, and then it was over.  I was devastated.

But, then, something funny happened.  I was going to college and meeting people.  And, it wasn't like I was actively on the prowl or anything, but during the course of my time there I met 3-4 women around my age that literally made me forget about my ex.  They weren't just physically attractive, but beautiful personalities.  Some I had shared interests with, some not, but nothing that was a game breaker.  Now, in my case, I had the bad luck of them all having boyfriends at the time, but the experience proved to me that, yes, there are indeed plenty of fish in the sea.  In my own neighborhood, in fact.

I guarantee that this phantom you're still pining over isn't half as amazing as you think she is.  And that your obsession with her is simply stopping you from actually meeting some pretty amazing people.  But, you won't know that if you go into every situation thinking "You'll never be as good as her!"  So, get over it.  She's not going to change her mind about you these years after the fact, and there's no use wasting energy on someone who isn't in your life any longer.