Not married to a Pentecostal but was raised by them. My SO is ex-Baha'i vaguely theist and we just don't argue about it; neither of us feels that strongly about it and she does not attend. So I don't have that hard a row to hoe compared to you. I've seen a marriage torn apart by one spouse losing their religious belief while the other retained theirs but not one an atheist married a Pentecostal before.
It seems in this instance she has changed, going from 'mildly religious' back serious Holy Roller; while you maintain roughly the same stance. If it was me, with so much invested in the relationship, and not having to go see her acting that way in church; I think it's something I could live with; but it's clearly distressing to you.
If the difference were something else, I'd suggest compromise; but you can't really expect a fundamentalist to compromise on their religion.
The only advice I can give is to tell her, gently, how you feel. Not that you want a divorce, she should not be hearing about that until you've explored other options, but she needs to understand that it really bothers you. And seek non-pastoral counseling; or if she must have it that way, both pastoral counseling and counseling by a qualified secular marriage counselor as well.
Best of luck, I would not want to have to wrestle with what you're going through.
It seems in this instance she has changed, going from 'mildly religious' back serious Holy Roller; while you maintain roughly the same stance. If it was me, with so much invested in the relationship, and not having to go see her acting that way in church; I think it's something I could live with; but it's clearly distressing to you.
If the difference were something else, I'd suggest compromise; but you can't really expect a fundamentalist to compromise on their religion.
The only advice I can give is to tell her, gently, how you feel. Not that you want a divorce, she should not be hearing about that until you've explored other options, but she needs to understand that it really bothers you. And seek non-pastoral counseling; or if she must have it that way, both pastoral counseling and counseling by a qualified secular marriage counselor as well.
Best of luck, I would not want to have to wrestle with what you're going through.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
