I hate it when I do that...

[Fireball]

Best mash wound- dropped a hot disc brake rotor (in the lathe mandrel) on my right big toe. I was holding the mandrel with shop towels because of the heat. Finished the brake job, then went to the ER (the VA, because I was too ignorant to go to a closer hospital, which would also do the work, as the company had Worker's Comp, but I didn't think of that).

Best burn- removing an oil filter from a Volvo by hand, I slipped and I got a reverse direction brand of the exhaust manifold part number on the back of my hand. Not old enough to claim a visit to Auschwitz. Then again, the time a bunch of weld slag fell into my armpit after burning through my shirt wasn't so enjoyable, either.

Best slice- washing dishes after a spring break party, and dropped a wine glass. Grabbed it by the bowl, but the angle was such that I drove the glass into the counter and broke it, and the stem lacerated my palm. I was working as a mechanic in those days and the calluses were so thick there that it barely bled. No calluses, I'd've been in the ER for tendon repair.

My hands and arms are so scarred now that the Volvo part number is no longer visible. And sometimes I find bloody light switches and look around for the culprit, only to find that it is MY finger which is bleeding.

I hate it when I do these things. 

I had another worker cut through my finger to the bone with secateurs when I was working vineyards.
The nurse couldn't get the needle through the callouses to stitch me up.

Twice I've cut into my palm with a big knife, once almost through to the other side.
Did you have jelly come out too? :-)

Worst burn was toffee.
I spilt it on my arm and tried to wipe it off with a tea towel but it just wiped the skin straight off. :-)

I have a great little collection of scars but my ex wife had to out do me and have a caesarean.

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I told another chef that story about the toffee burn and the skin coming off.
He just showed me where he took his palm off with a mandolin.
That makes your knees weak. :-)

Yikes. I do now remember another burn I got as a youth. I love caramel like you wouldn't believe. My mother was making something on the stove with caramel in it (pudding?). I sneaked a straw from somewhere and sucked some out of the boiling pot. I was just a little kid, and didn't know any better. Burnt the hell out of my mouth, and it dripped back into the pot.. Guess I didn't give anyone a disease, though. 

OK, now I want to know what a "mandolin" is in this context. I can't imagine that musical instrument as a flaying device.