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The bible: pastors edition.
January 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm
(This post was last modified: January 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm by veire.)
I had an argument with my mom a few days ago and she said i should read the bible first if i was going to dismiss it, I agreed. So I started looking for a bible my uncle (a catholic priest) gave me on my first communion . I found it and saw it said: The Bible, Pastors edition. So i started reading and found that its basically everything I heard while going to church, word for word. It explains the bible with a very long footnote at the bottom half of the page. Anyways I was reading genesis and it caught my eye that it explained the creation of man as equal, man and women. Saying how it PROVED the bible showed that there is no sexism in the bible. I read on and three pages on to my surprise it said: To the woman he said "I shall multiply your suffering during pregnancy and you shall give birth with great pain. You will always be in need of a man and he will dominate you. "
Ironic isn't it?
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RE: The bible: pastors edition.
January 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm
very, but then that book is full of contradictions and ironies.
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RE: The bible: pastors edition.
January 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm
(This post was last modified: January 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm by Cyberman.)
(January 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Read the Skeptic's Annotated Bible. Lots of lulz.
I get all my stuff from there (well, it's so convenient). Shame the
Lolcat Bible isn't considered canon though. (BTW, I fixed your link.)
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: The bible: pastors edition.
January 7, 2012 at 7:24 am
OH HAI!
Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly.
Love the lolcat Bible!! Haven't read it in ages. I understand it has been finished then??
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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RE: The bible: pastors edition.
January 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm
(This post was last modified: January 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm by Cyberman.)
Not sure, akshully. As far as I can see it's all complete but I think they keep tinkering and refining it, not necessarily for the better; there's parts of the Garden of Eden story in Genesis 3 I know have been changed. There was a bit I absolutely loved about the 'gurl' and 'boi' nomming the froot and Ceiling Cat catching them. "Wuzzat?" He said, "Whut you nomming?" And so on.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: The bible: pastors edition.
January 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm
(This post was last modified: January 10, 2012 at 5:23 pm by JudgeDracoAmunRa.)
(January 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm)veire Wrote: You will always be in need of a man and he will dominate you.
It's the dizzy-cow mentallity showing through, I'm afraid. You see, according to bible-bashers, Eve was easily led. She believed the devil's lies. And all the devil told her were just a couple of whoppas even infants still in nappies wouldn't have fallen for. When God saw what Eve had done he said: "I knew I shouldn't have created her a dumb blonde. Now look what's happened. How the hell am I gonna fix this mess? If she does something like that again, we're all screwed." So he told Adam to show her who wore the trousers (which God must have made for Adam out of something that no doubt was very green - all he had to work with was leaves). That didn't last long though. These days it's men who are under women's thumbs. Maybe woman's not so stupid after all.
The interesting thing about Truth is that Truth is still Truth even if the devil speaks it. The interesting thing about Lies is that Lies are still Lies even if God speaks them.
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RE: The bible: pastors edition.
January 11, 2012 at 7:17 pm
And of course the bible isn't misogynist... everything that happened to women after Eve ate the apple was justified, of course.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
