Posts: 558
Threads: 79
Joined: November 26, 2011
Reputation:
8
Bible is Funny!
February 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Bible is full of fun stories.
I think there's one in there where King David dances in the street and his tunic flies up and he doesn't wear undies and his wife starts laughing. (Not sure if they teach this one in Sunday School)
Care to share any others...
Posts: 30973
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation:
141
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm
The part after "in the beginning..."
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 20, 2012 at 8:43 pm
I'm going for the bit where, due to 'Matthew' not exactly being diligent in 'his' translations, JC rides into Jerusalem on an ass and a colt simultaneously.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 20, 2012 at 8:48 pm
The Bible?
TL;DR
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 21, 2012 at 10:24 am
Oh, I did read that part. That was the only part, and yes, it was epicly fucked up.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
MarkOfEnglandshire
Unregistered
Religious Views:
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 21, 2012 at 10:42 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjI6D84ExvU
Ricky Gervais amazing bible reading. Black and white but its funny as.
Posts: 1123
Threads: 18
Joined: February 15, 2012
Reputation:
27
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 21, 2012 at 11:04 am
(This post was last modified: February 21, 2012 at 11:05 am by NoMoreFaith.)
II Kings 2:23-24
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
In my opinion, this is the greatest bible verse of them all.
Got a bit of godpower in your pocket? Getting mocked by young men about your bald head?
Don't worry! Just call on the lord and maul those mother-f**kers.
Elisha is like some kind of Biblical Chuck Norris in my eyes.
This is the christian approach to bullying they should adopt in faith schools. Bit of disrespect, let loose the bears.
I particular love the fact that 2 bears were necessary. No half hearted single bear mauling, but a bloody tag team of child mutilation.
The moral of this biblical story requires little interpretation; do not mock holy men, those mother f**kers will shred you.
Self-authenticating private evidence is useless, because it is indistinguishable from the illusion of it. ― Kel,
Kelosophy Blog
If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool because every time there’s a church with a ghoul, or a ghost in a school. They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The f**king janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. Throughout history every mystery. Ever solved has turned out to be. Not Magic. ― Tim Minchin, Storm
MarkOfEnglandshire
Unregistered
Religious Views:
RE: Bible is Funny!
February 21, 2012 at 11:14 am
Thats epic! Im guessing the guy who sat down and wrote this was bald and just been pissed off by the local kids.
![[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo112%2Fpussinboots_photos%2FBikes%2Fmybannerglitter06eee094.gif)
