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(April 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm)Metal_horse Wrote: I actually almost never get any Jehovah's witnesses at my door, kind of strange.
Same for me. Actually I never have any religious nuts coldcalling. I think it might have something to do with my living on the fourth floor on a private estate. Shame, really, I never get to sharpen my claws in a one-on-one scenario unless I go looking for it - which I'm hardly likely to want to do.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I've lived in my current place for nearly 3 years and I've had 2. The first one I just said no thanks and shut the door. The second one, I thought I might give some of the arguments I've heard here a bit of a bash - the guy spoke to me for about 4 minutes, realised I wasn't going to change my mind about being an atheist, and left.
Shame really. I'd like for one of them to be willing to take a list of contradictions in the bible away for a week, and come back with their answers. I'd probably never see them again, but I'd be interested to see what they had to say.
"No-one who decides that scientific evidence is not for him and that his own experience or the stories of others is the be all and end all of deciding what's true ever has the right to call people searching for reliable, repeatable evidence narrow-minded. That is hypocrisy of the most laughable kind." Derren Brown - Tricks of the Mind.
I've only had JWs at this particular residence a few times. They woke me up at 7am. Thankfully, I had a supply of coffee at the time [dunking donuts...mmm...] that I was looking forwards to so I wasn't nearly as irritated as I can be when I am woken up too early. I was dressed only in my boxer shorts. I answer the door and these two girls who aren't exactly HOT but they're damn well within range of "cute-to-gorgeous" are standing there with pre-plastered smiles on their faces that turn into awkward stares when they see me. Conversation goes as follows:
"Uh...h-hi, we're, uh..."
"Evangelists?"
"N...no, we're Jehovah's Witnesses, and we wanted to bring the word of God to you this morning-"
"So, evangelists. Evangelists are people who spread the word of god to other individuals by means of preaching."
"...Er, yes, so, we have this pamphlet-"
"Hun, listen, it's seven in the morning. As your eyes' gaze keeps giving away, you are aware I have morning wood like a motherfucker right now. IF you want to come in, we can talk about god a LOT. You'll be singing praises to him with more enthusiasm than you've ever had in your life, but if not, I've gotta do something about it myself, ok?"
The second one turned and immediately started walking away, but I SWEAR the first one was considering it for a couple seconds before she joined her preach-buddy...
...They haven't sent any JWs around here lately. XD
I've only had JWs at this particular residence a few times. They woke me up at 7am. Thankfully, I had a supply of coffee at the time [dunking donuts...mmm...] that I was looking forwards to so I wasn't nearly as irritated as I can be when I am woken up too early. I was dressed only in my boxer shorts. I answer the door and these two girls who aren't exactly HOT but they're damn well within range of "cute-to-gorgeous" are standing there with pre-plastered smiles on their faces that turn into awkward stares when they see me. Conversation goes as follows:
"Uh...h-hi, we're, uh..."
"Evangelists?"
"N...no, we're Jehovah's Witnesses, and we wanted to bring the word of God to you this morning-"
"So, evangelists. Evangelists are people who spread the word of god to other individuals by means of preaching."
"...Er, yes, so, we have this pamphlet-"
"Hun, listen, it's seven in the morning. As your eyes' gaze keeps giving away, you are aware I have morning wood like a motherfucker right now. IF you want to come in, we can talk about god a LOT. You'll be singing praises to him with more enthusiasm than you've ever had in your life, but if not, I've gotta do something about it myself, ok?"
The second one turned and immediately started walking away, but I SWEAR the first one was considering it for a couple seconds before she joined her preach-buddy...
...They haven't sent any JWs around here lately. XD
You're lucky they didn't send the police round... or that they weren't two Catholic blokes hock:
It looks a bit daunting to read but trust me it's worth the effort.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
April 7, 2012 at 4:20 am (This post was last modified: April 7, 2012 at 4:20 am by Creed of Heresy.)
(April 7, 2012 at 4:18 am)Stimbo Wrote: You're lucky they didn't send the police round... or that they weren't two Catholic blokes hock:
What would they tell them? "We were harassing a guy and waking him up at the ass-crack of dawn and he greeted us in his boxers and attemped to solicit me for sex!"
(April 6, 2012 at 5:24 am)oxymoron Wrote: I had fun with JWs once. Guy and his son on the door, I quickly moved the topic on to blood transfusions, and asked the dad what he would do if his son was bleeding to death in the gutter, then asked the son how he would feel if his dad let him die. They ummed and erred their way through that before beating a hasty retreat.
I bet that was awkward.
For the kid I mean.
Asked the very same question myself and they repeat the jehovas will rhetoric, and finish with the artificial blood argument.
My wife was out walking the dog last week and two Mormons approached her and were preaching at her, fucking outrageous - I'd have banged them out.
You are currently experiencing a lucky and very brief window of awareness, sandwiched in between two periods of timeless and utter nothingness. So why not make the most of it, and stop wasting your life away trying to convince other people that there is something else? The reality is obvious.
(April 7, 2012 at 6:15 am)Norfolk And Chance Wrote:
(April 6, 2012 at 8:25 am)Napoleon Wrote: I bet that was awkward.
For the kid I mean.
Asked the very same question myself and they repeat the jehovas will rhetoric, and finish with the artificial blood argument.
My wife was out walking the dog last week and two Mormons approached her and were preaching at her, fucking outrageous - I'd have banged them out.
I did much the same, a JW and daughter (aged about 12) tried to give me the treatment. I let them blather on for a while then we got to the blood transfusion argument. I asked him what he would do if a drunk driver came round the corner and hit his daughter, leaving her bleeding to death in the gutter. He said he would pray for her. He seemed upset when I called him a potential child murderer by refusing a simple treatment that would save her life. I asked if he thought so little about her that he wouldn't try to save her. The look on her her face was priceless.... maybe I shocked her into really thinking about what he was talking about.
(They never came back, I wonder why?)
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!
(April 7, 2012 at 6:15 am)Norfolk And Chance Wrote: My wife was out walking the dog last week and two Mormons approached her and were preaching at her, fucking outrageous - I'd have banged them out.
I think that's a bit far. I don't think I'd go as far as to 'bang someone out' because they were preaching to me or anyone else.
I'd simply tell them to back off and if they didn't get the message put in a few expletives.
May 7, 2012 at 1:36 am (This post was last modified: May 7, 2012 at 1:38 am by KichigaiNeko.)
When I hear of JWs i can't help but immediately think of Omnians and Constable Visit ("Washpot")
wiki Wrote:Constable Visit-the-Infidel/Ungodly-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets (sometimes referred to as Visit-the-Ungodly-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets) is a Constable of the City Watch. He is generally just called 'Constable Visit', or occasionally by his nickname 'Washpot'. The term comes from one of Visit's favourite quotations, "Moab is my washpot. Over Edom will I cast out my shoe," from Psalm 60 in the book of Om. His name is, apparently, shorter in Omnian.
He first appeared in Feet of Clay. He is referred to by Pratchett as follows: "There's one in every station, and Constable Visit was enough for two." Samuel Vimes says he is a good copper, his highest form of personal praise. He is an Omnian of a gentle but determined proselytising nature. He can clear a large crowd in seconds, just by talking to them about religion and threatening them with pamphlets, principally "Unadorned Facts" and "Battle Call" (parodies of The Plain Truth and The War Cry).
In off-duty moments he goes door to door with his fellow Omnian, Smite-the-Unbeliever-with-Cunning-Arguments. Entire pubs have been known to draw the curtains, turn off the lights and lie on the floor whimpering at news of his coming down the street. The only "entity" not afraid of Visit's endless proselytising is his friend and fellow constable Dorfl, a golem with endless patience and a desire to argue faith rationally.
He appears in the SkyOne television adaptation of Hogfather, portrayed by Richard Katz.
The Guy on the Left
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
hock:
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