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Flying Christian Zombies?
#1
Flying Christian Zombies?
Even the apologists can't seem to come together on this one. The dead in christ rising first verses have always been of particular interest to me ... probably because it's right on par with the scary stories that my grand parents would read me from the Brother's Grimm at bedtime ... regardless, it seems to be a real divider among the sheep.

1 Thessalonians 4:14-17 (NIV) Wrote:


A few questions ...

1. If they're asleep, and not dead, and they're not in heaven and they're not in their body (many would no longer even have bodies)where are they?
2. What if they have no burial, or their bodies were burned ... does their soul just sit around some place?
3. Does god have a limbo filled with millions of catatonic souls waiting to be picked up in the air? And if they do - do they come back to their graves before taking flight?
4. Are there billions of sleeping christians waiting to zombie-fly into the sky to meet jesus? A 2000 year sleep makes for a LOT of souls in the sky.
5. The Greek word for RISE actually means "to stand up" ... does that not imply that the actual corpses would indeed be walking around? Why would a bodiless soul need to "stand up?"
6. Also, if Christians believe that jesus christ is going to literally show up floating in the air (and MANY MANY christians do) than doesn't this mean that the entire portion of this scripture should be taken literally?
7. The bible clearly says that the dead and the living will "meet him in the air." AIR according to the Greek translation is the sky area immediately above the ground. So a literal translation does indeed mean that we're going to have literally billions of people hovering in the sky with Jesus. Probable? I don't think Jesus thought this through all that well. I mean the logistics of one world wide bus stop to heaven is just not very efficient. Why can't the dead in christ just get a first class ticket straight to the golden gates??


Anyway, I've always been curious about this event. It seems obviously fictional, but maybe there's an apologist out there that can explain it better. You know - which parts are metaphorical - which parts are literal - which parts are contextual - which parts are copy error - which parts are .... well you get it. Also, if I could get a group consensus on this that would be great. Please have your True Christian™ identification badge if you would like to participate. We wouldn't want to get any bad information from all those "false prophets" out there from other denominations.




[Image: Evolution.png]

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#2
Re: Flying Christian Zombies?
Another glaring inconsistency revealed? Somehow this no longer surprises me.
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#3
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
Quote:but maybe there's an apologist out there that can explain it better.

They'll begin by whining about "context."
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#4
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
Which raises the important question of what we will do if we ever have a plague of zombie chickens, 'cos cutting off their heads won't workTongue
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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#5
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
Trust YOU to come upb with THAT concept Zen!! meh Dodgy
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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#6
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
I kinda figured I wouldn't get an answer from any of the brothers-in-christ.

I think most of them finally put me on ignore. Big Grin

I'm almost a little honored. awe-shucks
[Image: Evolution.png]

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#7
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
Everyone quote Cinj's posts so they have to see them anyway.

Angel
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#8
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
(May 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Everyone quote Cinj's posts so they have to see them anyway.

Angel

lulz
[Image: Evolution.png]

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#9
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
(May 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm)Cinjin Wrote: I kinda figured I wouldn't get an answer from any of the brothers-in-christ.

I think most of them finally put me on ignore. Big Grin

Hmmmm... perhaps a query should be run to find out? They ain't supposed to ignore staff. Cool Shades
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#10
RE: Flying Christian Zombies?
They are ashamed of their staffs. Their fucking bible tells them to be.
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