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IRC fun with Bash.org
October 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Urban Dictionary defines Bash.org, somewhat accurately, as "A site with examples of people making complete asses of themselves on IRC or while instant messaging." I'm sure we've all done that at some point, but can anyone top these fine exhibits of the breed?
#953413 Wrote:<%wgluv2hunt> I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks.
<%wgluv2hunt> I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
<%wgluv2hunt> One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!"
<%wgluv2hunt> So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"
<%wgluv2hunt> That's all I remember.
#953150 Wrote:<rad_ed> NOOOOOO i didn't want to do that no no no no
<Sharkd> what?
<rad_ed> i added honey boo boo to my google news section
<rad_ed> no no no no how do i undo
#953085 Wrote:<swarthy15> I'm sweating like Gary Glitter in Mothercare
#952948 Wrote:<gmaxwell> 1960: "I have a great idea! lets have every person in the country carry a radio tracking beacon!" "That'll never fly!" 2012: "I can has TWO iphones??"
#951317 Wrote:<ram> I got into an interesting discussion with my roommate yesterday about Quantum Romneyism
<ram> Romney holds a superposition of all political opinions until you observe him, then they collapse based on the audience.
#951096 Wrote:<izi_> I like my servers like I like my women. monochrome and text only.
#951040 Wrote:<mjew1> new speakers showed up
<mjew1> gotta figure out how im gonna wire them up
<bunni> you put + in to +, and - in to -
<mjew1> i know that
<bunni> dont mix them up, otherwise the audio would be backwards
<mjew1> fuck you
<bunni> 
#951001 Wrote:<@Kropotkin> I hate looting corpses for anything other than an upgrade. I usually just loot the gold and small items... just feels more realistic to do that than strip someone naked all the time. I mean, this is Skyrim, not Baltimore.
#950977 Wrote:<hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
#949959 Wrote:<DevXen> Today I was at the store and saw a Darth Vader action figure that said "Choking Hazard." It was great.
#949621 Wrote:Rachel: I'm board.
Jeff: I'm chalk, we should get together.
Rachel: BOARD! Like I don't have anything to do, not BORD, like a chalkbord. Learn to spellcheck.
Jeff: Oh god I hope you don't breed.
#949439 Wrote:lemonlimeskull: Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney to take on Barack Obama.
lemonlimeskull: We have to stop letting George Lucas name our Politicians.
#949412 Wrote:<Kerrija> On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
#949335 Wrote:<M07w> you haven't been on the internet until you've seen a disembodied breast wearing a pair of panties
#948683 Wrote:<Yokujou`> iPhone autocorrect: Because "Asperger's Cock" is exactly what you were trying to convey.
#948442 Wrote:<blaxthos> so tonight i got roped into going to some evangelical church christmas dinner theatre
<blaxthos> "oh christmas, carol!"
<cue> evangelicals are morons
<blaxthos> it was absolutely godawful
<blaxthos> until the last musical number, where the main character realized she has a hole in her heart
<blaxthos> and sang a song entitled "i'm going to fill my hole with jesus"
#349567 Wrote:Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
#203815 Wrote:<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 13, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Just a few days ago, I was thinking of this site for the first time in years. When I used to frequent a Star Trek forum, I used to come here for the jokes.
I was not aware it was still around.
I am partial to the one where a girl asks where men would be if it weren't for them....some dude replied "Still in Eden, you gullible b****."
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 13, 2012 at 11:49 pm
(This post was last modified: October 13, 2012 at 11:53 pm by Angrboda.)
I know that I'm in bash.org at least once (and bash isn't only embarrassing stuff — there's bon mot and such as well).
I could probably grep my logs for what of me is in bash.org, but I've suddenly forgotten how to do that for some reason...
(Yes, I'm in there. I just checked. The problem is, while bash is good, it's user submitted. I've been an IRC mod for 12+ years; on a popular channel. The odds of my lunacy ending on bash are considerably above the mean.)
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 14, 2012 at 12:18 am
Priceless Stimbo!! Never heard of Bash.org...stolen and promoted! 
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 14, 2012 at 12:28 am
Oh, there's some real classics in there! A lot of the more geeky ones fly right over my head, I'm relieved to say, but then I'll suddenly come upon one that has me in stitches. Like this one:
#261501 Wrote:<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm
(This post was last modified: October 15, 2012 at 10:35 pm by Cyberman.)
Wasn't intending to drag this thread out longer than necessary, but I've found my new sig (so this post is a bit superfluous, really):
#827006 Wrote:ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 16, 2012 at 9:31 am
You're just kudos fishing, aren't you Stimbo? (j/k this is some funny shit!)
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Curses, discovered!
Revert to Plan 'B' immediately!!
[Escape pod jettisoned]
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: IRC fun with Bash.org
October 21, 2012 at 6:59 pm
I've known about this site for a while. This is my favorite quote
Quote:<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~[email protected]) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<
My ignore list
"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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