I should have some fun with this one.

[onlinebiker]

Just got this text on my private phone - (for those that don't know I am a retired guy)


Hi Sarah, my name is Tucker and I'm the general manager at the Panda Express on 28th St. 
I saw that you put in an application recently and I was wondering if you would be interested in coming in
for an interview sometime this week.

.....

 

I should tell him that I have a really great recipe for deep fried panda testicles that I am really proud of.

That and I'm willing to sleep my way to the top.

....

See if THAT gets her hired.

[Brian37]

Just got this text on my private phone - (for those that don't know I am a retired guy)


Hi Sarah, my name is Tucker and I'm the general manager at the Panda Express on 28th St. 
I saw that you put in an application recently and I was wondering if you would be interested in coming in
for an interview sometime this week.

.....

 

I should tell him that I have a really great recipe for deep fried panda testicles that I am really proud of.

That and I'm willing to sleep my way to the top.

....

See if THAT gets her hired.

Pretty sure giant corporations don't fish like that.

[arewethereyet]

I got a text saying that I cancelled my OnStar notifications. Nope, I did not. Tried their automated system, which went like this...

Me - My notification texts were cancelled.

Auto response - Thank you for contacting us, what's your name?

Me - enter name

Auto response - what can we help you with today?

Me - I received a text saying that I cancelled my OnStar notifications.

Response - Thank you for contacting OnStar, what's your name?

Me - repeat two more go 'rounds.

Gave up and called number...very nice lady has no fucking idea what's going on. Thank you, have a nice day.

Check email - You have cancelled your OnStar notifications...

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[onlinebiker]

To err is human.


To really goatfuck something you need a computer.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Just got this text on my private phone - (for those that don't know I am a retired guy)


Hi Sarah, my name is Tucker and I'm the general manager at the Panda Express on 28th St. 
I saw that you put in an application recently and I was wondering if you would be interested in coming in
for an interview sometime this week.

.....

 

I should tell him that I have a really great recipe for deep fried panda testicles that I am really proud of.

That and I'm willing to sleep my way to the top.

....

See if THAT gets her hired.

Pretty sure giant corporations don't fish like that.

It isn’t fishing, it’s most likely a case of muddled-up emails/phone numbers.

I used to occasionally get emails from the Invercargill Narcotics Anonymous Outreach Centre (for those who don’t know, Invercargill is just about as far south as you can go in NZ before you drop off the edge), asking if, since I’m a member of their board, I have any suggestions for next month’s meeting agenda. 

I replied twice, explaining that, while I appreciate the good work they do, I’ve never been a member of NA in any capacity, so they should probably remove me from their email list.

When that didn’t work, I sent them a third email suggesting holding a fundraiser and use the proceeds to purchase as much black tar heroin as possible and give it free to Invercargill addicts on a first come/first served basis.

Haven’t heard from them since.

Boru

[arewethereyet]

I went through a period of time when I was getting frequent emails from ChristianMingle.com.

Finally I responded and asked if they really wanted a married atheist on their site.

Just like that the emails stopped.

[Ravenshire]

Back in the days of land lines and telephone modems, I used to get fax calls from the local hospital. The doctor they were trying to reach had a 585- prefix. Mine was 588-. The last four were identical. I called that damned hospital a dozen times trying to get them to correct the issue, but kept receiving fax calls. So, I connected the computer to the land line, let it take the call, and faxed them all the pertinent, private, details of the patient that they had just sent to me, along with a notice that next time I would be forwarding the evidence to the proper authorities, not replying to them in a vain attempt to end the disruptions. That was the last time I ever got a fax call from them.

[arewethereyet]

I have a question I would really like an answer to.

Your Internet goes down and you call the provider for assistance. You want to know if it's area wide and will come back up or if your equipment has taken a crap. After pressing the appropriate buttons letting them know that your Internet is the issue they play...seemingly on an endless loop...the message that you can get quicker service if you log onto their website.

What part of "my Internet is down" is confusing?

[Angrboda]

I love the ones that advise you to login to your account for information on how to fix problems with logging in to your account.

[arewethereyet]

That's the wrong password.

(type more slowly) That's the wrong password.

Click here to reset your password.

Sorry, you have to pick a new password.

Fuckers...you are just fucking with me and I hate you for it.