Anecdotes about the shape of your morality

[rexbeccarox]

I grew up in a moderately religious family, in very religious areas, and started my formal education in a private Christian school. The school probably wouldn't have been chosen for me, but my mom taught there so I went tuition-free. Bible Study was an every-morning occurrence, and mandatory. We also always went to church growing up, but I never really believed the godstuff, even when I got involved with youth groups and choir and things.

My parents separated when I was about eleven and my dad got super-religious after some gnarly health issues; but even before that I was allowed to read whatever I wanted and listen to whatever music I wanted. I was restricted, however, from certain TV shows (Married... With Children, for example) and movies.

I chose to read (among other things, like the Bible) Stephen King and V.C. Andrews. I listened to Metallica and Iron Maiden, and eventually the really bad glam-metal bands like Poison and Motley Crue. In other words, I was exposed to sex and violence, in my mind, like nothing a video game or movie could ever portray. I had/have a vivid imagination.

That being said, I have never had a proclivity toward violence or casual sex. I didn't lose my virginity (not for a lack of suitors) until I was twenty. I've had one one-night stand, and in my naivete I thought he was serious about me so the one-nighter wasn't intentional on my part.

Regardless of my father's racism and my grandparents' country-club-republicanism, I have always been color blind and tolerant; pro-social equality. I would never judge another for making different decisions from my own, unless those decisions affected someone else negatively, but even then, I don't expect jurisdiction for my judgements.

None of these things, in my view, makes me any more or less moral than anyone else, but they are things related to morality in the eyes of most societies... especially religious ones.

I would love to hear anecdotes... things that shaped or mis-shaped your morality along the way, whether positive or negative.

Thanks guys!

[Kayenneh]

I was brought up quite strict in the sense that I had curfews and were supposed to come straight home from school, unless I had one of my hobbies. My parents set a lot of rules and guidelines, but rather than enforcing them it was up to me (and my sister) to follow them. Our motto was: "What would Dad say?", encouraging us to think twice before doing something stupid.

[rexbeccarox]

Thanks Kay! That's exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for

[Nine]

I had no curfews or any other limits really. Pretty much from the age of about 10 I was allowed to do whatever so long as it didn't inconvenience my parents. I lived in a very poor area and racism, homophobia and just the general hate of everyone else was pretty much expected of everyone in my street. Violence was pretty normal. Sex was not far off. I can't even count the amount of times we would bump into a couple people fucking. Stealing was pretty much a non-issue. I wasn't a big fan of doing it but occasionally we would need a football or something so yeah.. Most of me and my friends time was spent doing something ridiculous and usually illegal.

As for my family I barely talked to them at all until I was about 16. I'd only see them at dinner time when I'd basically shovel down food and go back out. My mother was doing a university course and my dad was starting a business. They were loosely christian and even went through a phase of going to church. They knew I didn't believe and never pushed it on me at any point.

At school we had mornings with prayer, hymns and bible stories. I figured everyone knew they were just stories. In the whole time I was at primary and secondary school I handed in almost no homework at all. Which got me pretty good at lying to teachers or just sneaking out. I was mostly well behaved at school other than that. Although I never gave much of a crap other than scraping a pass. My plan was to join the army as soon as I left school. When I did leave my mother refused completely to let me sign up. I was just turning 16 and you need parental permission if you are under 18.

Next I quickly scrambled to get a place at a nearby college. Two of my subjects were Sociology and Psychology so if you can come out of those still being racist and homophobic you are pretty much lost cause. So I spent the last 4 years realizing how much of a dick I was and working on fixing it.

[Faith No More]

One thing that shaped my view that the value on life is conditional was mowing the law of an elderly neighbor when I was twelve. He could barely get around and his wife was blind as a bat and couldn't hear well. They didn't get any visitors, including their own children, so when I would go into to collect my payment, I would sit and talk with him for an hour or so. Every time I would ask him how he was doing he responded with, "Awful. I'm just waiting to die." Then he would go on and on about how horrible he felt and how god must have forgotten about him. As a twelve-year old, somebody wanting to die was a foreign concept to me, and it really opened my eyes to the fact that we need to be practical about how we deal with life and death.

I also really appreciated the fact that he didn't sugarcoat reality for me even though I was young, but in hindsight, he may just have been too old to give a shit anymore.

[Sal]

First off: Very good premise for this thread, thank you.

Anyways, I broke my right leg when I was around 13 years old during a football game at my school. To make that anecdote short, first time I experienced the "bliss" of using a morphine derivative at the hospital. That pain could be so remarkably combated made me interested into how drugs worked on the brain. Also, remembering back to that event, I remember how a lot of other drugs prior to being administered the morphine derivative were utterly useless and had very little, if any, effect on my pain.

I remember a time, I must've been around 10 or so, when an older brother of mine wore a track suit all the time, so much so, his track suit started to smell. My mother was unable to convince my brother to change clothes, because he liked the track suit so much. I guess she snapped or something, because she took a pair of scissors and cut his track suit up ... while he was wearing it. My 2 younger siblings were convinced she was trying to kill my older brother with the scissors. I sat down at the time and was just shocked. I lost a great deal of faith in my mother that day, that she would be so careless, and it also said a great deal of her character by how my 2 younger siblings reacted.

We had a lot of pets growing up, most of them were euthanized after my mother grew tired of them or some other arbitrary reason, or when the pets became what I can only describe as mentally ill. One dog had a litter, when I was around 9 or 10, and because my mother didn't have the money (did I mention I we were very poor?) to take the puppies to the doctor to have them euthanized, She sent us instead up the mountain Kirkjubøreyn, and told us to kill them. So me and 2 of my older brothers did. We took the puppies and smashed their heads in by throwing that at a boulder and dug them under some gravel nearby. If anything can scar the imaginary soul, then this would be it. I remember also how the dog reacted after we came back home, and she obviously could smell her puppies, but they were nowhere in sight. That only deepened my sorrow. That dog became euthanized as well after it had attacked a child. The child was mostly unharmed, thankfully.

When I was around 13 years old I read the 2 versions of The Ten Commandments in my 5th re-reading of the Bible and upon noticing how different they were, started my road to apostasy. Got the ball rolling, so to speak. And after a lot of mental turmoil and fear of Hell I had come to the conviction that everything supernatural didn't exist 4 years later at the ripe age of 17. My very Christian parents, especially my mother, were outraged when I came out the closet, as it were, and used threats to try and change my mind (as if beliefs work that way). I can see now that, from their perspective, they were trying to save my immortal soul from Hell - so they cared, in a sort of twisted way. But I didn't have that insight then that I have now, and it only made me an angry atheist that left the house I grew up in shortly after coming out.

We, as a culture, live pretty close to nature. We hunt pilot whales when they swim in our fjords. I like hiking in the mountains just for the view and peace of mind that it gives me. We slaughter our own sheep in cellars, I've helped with slaughtering lots of sheep, although I hear that is starting to phase out into slaughterhouses now. I've caught and eaten my own fish plenty of times.

[LastPoet]

I have rebelled to any rules imposed on me without reason. Want me to do something because I told you so? *shit hits the fan*

[fr0d0]

Wow, awesome stories.

I think my upbringing was influential in that it was different to any of my peers. My parents were both from poor backgrounds, that came from reasonable backgrounds that were lost in unfortunate ways I guess. My mum had her own business and my dad, outside of his dead end job, supported.
Kids at school and living nearby were either poor or suburban, and thought of me as different.

My parents we're pretty free with me. My mum made ultimatums, like she hated smoking, animal cruelty, religious types, irresponsible sex. My dad was very laid back. And a torment.

[rexbeccarox]

Thanks guys! Great stories!

Insanity x, do you think your stealing, racism, etc. were a result of a lack of direction by your parents? Did your friends have similar situations at home?

Sal, your puppy story is so sad. Your mother cutting up your brother's track suit... sounds so much like something my mom might have done. She's more laid-back now, but her punishments were often extreme and irrational.

Fr0d0, what do you mean your dad was "a torment"? Do you mean he was tormented? Is that part of why you felt different?

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FNM, it's really cool you were helping the elderly at such a young age. I used to go to my grandmother's retirement home and just sit and talk with the old people there. I loved it!

[fr0d0]

He was sarcastic and a torment I meant ;)