YEC Girlfriend

[FreeAndEasy]

Hi everybody. This is my first time here, so please don't hate me too much if I'm posting this in the incorrect place.

Basically, my girlfriend and I are both 18 years old. She is a YEC Christian, and I was a Christian too when our relationship began about 2 years ago. She's my first real girlfriend, and I'm her first serious boyfriend.

Despite me starting off our relationship as a Christian, I have slowly (but surely) moved away from Christianity, especially fundamentalism, and now embrace a more humanistic (perhaps even very loosely deistic) philosophy. My girlfriend, however, remains a YEC.

I have kept this transition to myself for the most part. She knows that I am more politically liberal than she is and that I hold science to a higher regard than she does. However, she doesn't know that I view "TheEarthIs6000YearsOldism" as lunacy or that I don't accept the idea of the Benevolent-but-Vengeful God as likely.

I could use some advice on how to move forward from here. She is a really smart, funny, sweet girl, and I'm perfectly fine with her being a Christian and don't see it as a deal-breaker. I was raised in a Fundy family, so I can put up with it for the most part. I don't know how/what to tell her about my views though, and, as we go to college and as our relationship progresses, I could see this becoming a point of contention, especially if we don't talk about it beforehand.

Any advice or the sharing of similar experiences would be much appreciated. Thanks!

[Anomalocaris]

It seems you are starting with a tolerant position, but worry she might prove to be intolerant.

I think if she proves to be unwilling or unable to reciprocate your tolerance, then in the long run, your relationship is not equitable and could only continue at the expense of your conscience.

So you need to find out of she is tolerance, or could be eased into tolerance.

Why don't you start by introducing her to the what made you question the validity of YEC, and see what her attitude towards the fact that people with same judgement and knowledge as her or her church elders may think it is sin, not to disbelieve, but to believe, every word in the bible.

[Tea Earl Grey Hot]

Be careful when questioning her about YEC because she might think you're an old earth creationist which is still a variety of fundamentalism. She'll question you on scripture interpretation, not science.

[Simon Moon]

Welcome to our forums!

Congratulations on climbing out of (most) of the Bronze and Iron Age superstition that is Christianity.

I hate to break this to you, but it may be next to impossible to move her away from YEC. I have a family member that has been a YEC from about the same age as your girlfriend, and she's more than double that age now.

Everyone else in the family, including other Christians she trusts have tried to convince her that believing in YEC is tantamount to believing in s geocentric universe, but she won't budge.

So, you might have to learn to live with it. But hell, you are only 18. Chances are you will have several more relationships before your mid 20's.

Sorry I have no advice for you.

[freedomfromforum]

I was a Christian when my wife and I married. My wife is still a Christian and I'm an atheist. We have very honest communication in our marriage. My only advice is to be honest with your GF. Tell her all you are feeling. If she asks any questions, remain open, and give her clear, concise, answers. DO NOT attack her faith or call her belief silly (or any other such derogatory sounding comments - though you may be tempted). If you and she are going to make it for the 'long haul' (however long that is in your mind), then her response will demonstrate her desires. I wish you well, and I hope you find your balance.

[Simon Moon]

I was a Christian when my wife and I married. My wife is still a Christian and I'm an atheist. We have very honest communication in our marriage. My only advice is to be honest with your GF. Tell her all you are feeling. If she asks any questions, remain open, and give her clear, concise, answers. DO NOT attack her faith or call her belief silly (or any other such derogatory sounding comments - though you may be tempted). If you and she are going to make it for the 'long haul' (however long that is in your mind), then her response will demonstrate her desires. I wish you well, and I hope you find your balance.

Sage advice indeed.

I might add, that if you are open with your feelings and responses to her questions, be prepared for her to end the relationship.

If her other fundamentalist friends, family, pastor find out that you're no longer a fundy, or worse, a disbeliver , she may be pressured to end the relationship.

[Minimalist]

Get one of these t-shirts.




It will get the conversation started.

[freedomfromforum]

I might add, that if you are open with your feelings and responses to her questions, be prepared for her to end the relationship.

If her other fundamentalist friends, family, pastor find out that you're no longer a fundy, or worse, a disbeliver , she may be pressured to end the relationship.

Yes, sadly these scenarios could conceivably occur, but then our man would have his answer. Be prepared is the key - Good call Simon Moon.

[Minimalist]

If her other fundamentalist friends, family, pastor find out that you're no longer a fundy, or worse, a disbeliver, she may be pressured to end the relationship.

It could be worse. If they were muslims she would be joining the rock-throwing party.

[downbeatplumb]

Hi everybody. This is my first time here, so please don't hate me too much if I'm posting this in the incorrect place.

Basically, my girlfriend and I are both 18 years old. She is a YEC Christian, and I was a Christian too when our relationship began about 2 years ago. She's my first real girlfriend, and I'm her first serious boyfriend.

Despite me starting off our relationship as a Christian, I have slowly (but surely) moved away from Christianity, especially fundamentalism, and now embrace a more humanistic (perhaps even very loosely deistic) philosophy. My girlfriend, however, remains a YEC.

I have kept this transition to myself for the most part. She knows that I am more politically liberal than she is and that I hold science to a higher regard than she does. However, she doesn't know that I view "TheEarthIs6000YearsOldism" as lunacy or that I don't accept the idea of the Benevolent-but-Vengeful God as likely.

I could use some advice on how to move forward from here. She is a really smart, funny, sweet girl, and I'm perfectly fine with her being a Christian and don't see it as a deal-breaker. I was raised in a Fundy family, so I can put up with it for the most part. I don't know how/what to tell her about my views though, and, as we go to college and as our relationship progresses, I could see this becoming a point of contention, especially if we don't talk about it beforehand.

Any advice or the sharing of similar experiences would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Personally what I would do is tell her honestly your stance but also let her know that its not actually a big deal and you don't disrespect her view and still love her.

But only do this if the subject comes up, I see no need for a big "there's something I need to tell you moment"

My wife is a spiritualist and we have had some heated discussions on the subject. At the end of the day she wont be moved from her beliefs and I wont be moved from my lack of belief so we just don't talk about it now so it isn't an issue.

I do get the feeling that if I go before her my "spirit" will start to visit her and admit i was wrong.