Have you ever seen those stupid Axe body spray and shower gel commercials? I am a bit tempted to sue them for false advertising. I have worn their deodorant and used their shower gel quite a few times, and I most definitely do not have a bunch of voluptous vixens stripping in front of me (not when I don't pay them to, anyway).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReGnjfv3_mY
But I think I've finally figured them out: They stole from Islam, of course. All of this came to me when reading the Koran the other day. Listen to this somewhat lengthy, sexier than sexy passage from Merciful, describing the rewards for those who lick Allah's balls:
They shall dwell with bashful virgins whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. Which of your lord's blessings would you deny?
Virgins as fair as corals and rubies. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Shall the reward of goodness be anything but good? Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
And beside these there shall be two other gardens (which of your Lord's blessings shall you deny?) of darkest green. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
A gushing fountain shall flow in each. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Each planted with fruit-trees, the palm and the pomegranate. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Dark-eyed virgins sheltered in their tents (which of your Lord's blessing would you deny?) whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. Which of your Lord's blessings shall you deny?
They shall recline on green cushions and rich carpets. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Can you see the connections? Mr. Mohammed tempts you to join his church by promising you a bunch of hot girls...what's better: their hymens haven't been torn and they're totally clean. Who could ask for more? Mohammed's ludicrous rhetoric, "which of your Lord's blessings shall you deny" sounds as repetitive and convincing as the super-hot chicks in the Axe commercials.
But sadly, all this is false. When you use Axe deodorant and shower gel, you will be disappointed when you do not get any ass or a lap dance. Then when you convert to Islam, you will be sadly disappointed when you are not in a beautiful garden with a bunch of dark-eyed hotties spreading their legs and saying "fuck me fuck me". Instead, you're nothing more than a pile of dead carcass rotting in the ground.
Sex means a lot of business, and business is good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReGnjfv3_mY
But I think I've finally figured them out: They stole from Islam, of course. All of this came to me when reading the Koran the other day. Listen to this somewhat lengthy, sexier than sexy passage from Merciful, describing the rewards for those who lick Allah's balls:
They shall dwell with bashful virgins whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. Which of your lord's blessings would you deny?
Virgins as fair as corals and rubies. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Shall the reward of goodness be anything but good? Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
And beside these there shall be two other gardens (which of your Lord's blessings shall you deny?) of darkest green. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
A gushing fountain shall flow in each. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Each planted with fruit-trees, the palm and the pomegranate. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Dark-eyed virgins sheltered in their tents (which of your Lord's blessing would you deny?) whom neither man nor jinnee will have touched before. Which of your Lord's blessings shall you deny?
They shall recline on green cushions and rich carpets. Which of your Lord's blessings would you deny?
Can you see the connections? Mr. Mohammed tempts you to join his church by promising you a bunch of hot girls...what's better: their hymens haven't been torn and they're totally clean. Who could ask for more? Mohammed's ludicrous rhetoric, "which of your Lord's blessings shall you deny" sounds as repetitive and convincing as the super-hot chicks in the Axe commercials.
But sadly, all this is false. When you use Axe deodorant and shower gel, you will be disappointed when you do not get any ass or a lap dance. Then when you convert to Islam, you will be sadly disappointed when you are not in a beautiful garden with a bunch of dark-eyed hotties spreading their legs and saying "fuck me fuck me". Instead, you're nothing more than a pile of dead carcass rotting in the ground.
Sex means a lot of business, and business is good.
Do you also eat raw garlic on the days you wear Axe?
