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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
What happens to your pets after you're raptured?

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What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
TaraJo Offline
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#1
What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 12:52 pm
This is a wonderful business plan.

When the Christians are all raptured, they're going to leave their pets behind. This should be a problem for them. After all, they care about Fido and Fluffy, right? But who's going to take care of them after the rapture hits? Clearly it's going to be sudden and they won't know about it, so they won't really have time to set everything up.

The answer is simple: after the rapture pet care service. Us atheists will take care of the pets for them, so they can enjoy the afterlife without having to worry about their poor pet not being taken care of. We don't have to worry about being raptured, do we?

http://www.aftertherapturepetcare.com/

I'm gonna sign up to be a pet care taker. I wonder if I'll get paid for this Thinking
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"If you cling to something as the absolute truth and you are caught in it, when the truth comes in person to knock on your door you will refuse to let it in." ~ Siddhartha Gautama
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Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
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#2
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 1:20 pm
Make sure you get paid monthly for being on standby. Ready to go pick up the abandoned pooch as soon as its idiot owner flies up into the sky.*


Which is more likely by far to be caused by a tornado than any 'rapture.'
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Chad32 Offline
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#3
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 1:31 pm
I have always said that I expect to see animals, as well as plants, in heaven, whether people think they have souls or not. I know some people think only Humans have souls, though I'm not sure why, but I'm a country boy and expect heaven to not be devoid of animals or plants. If there's a heaven, and I went there, I'd expect my pets to be there as much as any relative of mine.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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Mr. Moncrieff Offline
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#4
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 1:36 pm (This post was last modified: March 2, 2014 at 1:36 pm by Mr. Moncrieff.)
I can take payments now to look after your pets when you're raptured. I'll still be here as a dirty heathen.

If you pay me now, it'll secure a place for Rover when you're whisked away to eternal bliss.

I only charge £500 per calendar month to keep the place open.
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max-greece Offline Donators
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#5
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 2:18 pm
What a fucking brilliant business idea.

Damn but I wish I had thought of that.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
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Whateverist Away Donators
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#6
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 3:07 pm
Is it too late to offer garden care for the magically departed? (At a fairish price of course.)
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professor Offline
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#7
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 4:18 pm
Chad pegged it. And they go when we go.

Oh, when it comes, the politically correct line will be UFOs took 'em.
Hollywood and the devil has the foundation for that one all set.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#8
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 4:21 pm
Pet Rapture.

THey're more deserving than many theists I've encountered.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Whateverist Away Donators
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#9
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 5:00 pm
(March 2, 2014 at 4:21 pm)Beccs Wrote: Pet Rapture.

THey're more deserving than many theists I've encountered.

.. and you can't blame them for who adopts them.
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professor Offline
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#10
RE: What happens to your pets after you're raptured?
March 2, 2014 at 5:01 pm
Wow. I am agreeing with two of you.
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
What happens to your pets after you're raptured?

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