Miracles for an Atheist.

[Dotard]

Miracles.

Funny concept that the creator and ruler of the universe would take the time to perform some magic to help you pay your damned phone bill. IF you humble yourself before it and go to it in 'prayer'.

So what of miracles for the atheists? "Miracles" that happen to us when we pray to no one. Or nothing.

Seems to put to rest the tired 'evidence' of personal stories. (There's a word for it, head o' pot smoke, can't recall it)

True story:

A week or so ago my phone bill was due. It was going to be cut off and I just did not have the $50 to pay it. My phone is my bread and butter. Exhausting all the options short of robbing an old lady I couldn't come up with it. Phone will go dead in a day. Damnit.

I head off to a little bs job that wasn't going to pay much and thought of one more option.

A fella did some work for me and I had his pay-for-the-day of $100 in my pocket. It's been there months. We keep in touch and he always would say "Yeah, I'll come and get it." but never showed. Been a good 3 1/2 weeks since speaking to him last.
I call the man. "Hey man! I still got that hundred bones for you, had it for months now. If you don't get it, I'm spending it".

"Ok dude, where you at?" he replies. Turned out the job I was sitting at was on the next street over from his house.
"Damn it" I think and go to give him his $100. He takes it smiling broadly. We sit and shoot the shit for a bit and he says, "Hey my brother's A/C is on the fritz and the company he called says it was ka-put. His neighbor-friend who is in A/C says he can't fix it either. Would you mind going and taking a look?"

"No problem, let's go." I wasn't doing anything at the time anyway.

We get to the brothers house, I do my thing and find it's a easy remedy to repair it and the company he called wanted to sell him a new one for $2200, his friend didn't know what he was doing. The part cost me <$10, I quote him $60. Take the 50 and paid my phone bill. MIRACLE!

True story #2:
JUST YESTERDAY I scored a big $$ paying job. \o/ I required a helper for it. I call one up, make the plans, see ya tommorrow. (Which is today)

About 8pm the fuck calls me and backs out. We needed to be starting at 8am Saturday. FUCK!!!!

I call around, no luck. Welp, that's it. I lost that job, 8 to 10 hours for 2 dudes to complete and it hadda be done same day. Damnit! So I go to my friends house to smoke some pot and bitch about it.

We're sitting there and there was a knock on the door, it was another old friend with a friend of his "just passing by". We start the bs session and I get to bitching about my helper backing out on me leaving me high and dry.

The friend of my friend (does that make him my friend also? Or does that only apply to ememies?) speaks up, "I have no job, no work at this time, can I help?" Details spewed out, the dude is there waiting for me at 7:30am. And he busted it out. MIRACLE!!



The above storys are true. If I had claimed to have prayed to my left nut in each of these cases would that be proof my left nut answers prayer? (I know the answer, don't say it)

My pot induced ponderance for the day is if other atheists while presented with such "evidence" ever just lob back a verifiable story of some good luck that came your way and emphasize you don't pray at all.

I usually get the "see? God's showing you he is there!"

Then I feel stupid for wasting everybodys time. Just like I do now.

[theVOID]

Brilliant

I was once out on a mission, going to flick off some tabs of cid to a mate. I bought him 10 for $250, i was going to drop them off to him for $300 and use the profit to shout some friends a few beers, but when i got to his place he wasn't home, i text'd and called him, no luck. I thought right fuck this, i've got 10 tabs of acid and no money now, i might as well drop one and go clubbing and see if anyone in town wanted tabs.

After a few hours of parting and no customers found i ran into someone who looked familiar, turned out it was another friend who i used to buy cid form several years ago, i started talking to him and it turned out he was after a few tabs, i told him i had 9 and he offered to buy them all, for $40 each

So a disaster turned into me making $110 dollars and getting an awesome night out on the town. I text'd the mates who i was due to see that day, they weren't doing anything so i turned up about 1:00am with a box of beers and a gram of weed. Surprise surprise the guy who i was supposed to be selling to in the first place was around there because his girlfriend knew my friends flatmate. I told him i don't appreciate being fucked around and he revealed he'd passed out trying to stay awake for me, he'd been on a bender all week because of holiday pay and couldn't stay up. He ended up wanting the 10 anyway, so a quick mission to another friend and i had 10 for him.

A disaster leaving me broke and pissed off lead to an awesome night out and more money that i had expected to make and secured a great weekend for everyone.

[littlegrimlin1]

I bet everyone has a drug story lol, tisk tisk young man.... jk

I'm not sure if I have any "Miracle" stories for y'all, most of the lucky things my life were trivial at best. There's not much room for anything to happen when you don't interact with others much and get out of the house lol.

[downbeatplumb]

I bet everyone has a drug story lol, tisk tisk young man.... jk

I'm not sure if I have any "Miracle" stories for y'all, most of the lucky things my life were trivial at best. There's not much room for anything to happen when you don't interact with others much and get out of the house lol.

Yeah I hada bad stomach after taking a course of Ibuprofen.

Rock and ROLL

[littlegrimlin1]

Yeah I hada bad stomach after taking a course of Ibuprofen.

Rock and ROLL

Yeah? Well is that your drug story? lol Did the ends justify the means? haaha

[LEDO]

Void, that is awlfully expensive for Cid. I remember getting a page (1,000 hits) before a Dead concert and only paying $400.00 And that was in Philadelphia. I don't recall if I made any money on it or not, but I would hand it out like candy in bars and strip joints as if I was giving communion. I would administer it by saying, "The Body of Jerry."

[Eilonnwy]

I found $380 on the floor, turned it in to my boss. In sat in the safe and no one claimed it. Just recently I had been itching for an iPod touch and a week later my Boss gives me the $380 saying the time is up. I got my iPod touch.

God likes me.

[chatpilot]

I had a boss who used to just give me shit. One day I came to work and he asked me what I was doing afterwards, and I replied:" nothing,going home." He then gave me this shirt that he bought from Macy's earlier that was just my size and told me if I would not mind picking one up for him later one size bigger. He gave me a hundred bucks and I was off to pick up the shirt. When I got there and purchased the shirt I realized it was an 85 dollar shirt! I needed a new shirt too at the time what a miracle!!!

On the flip side though I once went to see a televangeilst in New York City and I was broke as hell. All I had was carfare to get home. When it came time to give to the offering plate I prayed and said:"Lord I am sorry that I don't have anything to put in the plate but I offer you my heart and devotion amen". Suddenly a man tapped me on the shoulder and when I opened my eyes he said the Lord told him to give me 20 bucks and he handed it to me right then and there. Halellujah!!!!

[Dotard]

And, chatpilot, did you put that 20 in the collection basket?


Hmmm... I'm broke today.

"Lord! I offer you my heart and devotion!"


waiting......


waiting...


(chirp chirp chirp) <--cricket noises

still waiting....


Damnit. Still broke. Well, it was worth a try.

[leo-rcc]

I was thinking quite a lot about a friend who I hadn't spoken in 4 years. Then the phone rang. It wasn't him.