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Virgin, God, WTF
#1
Virgin, God, WTF
Okay I have always found the story of Mary coming to Joseph and telling him "I am pregnant".

If I was married to a virgin, who came to me and said " I am pregnant but I your not the father and I didn't cheat"

Hate to break it to you, but I'd call bullshit. It sounds like a cosmically weak excuse she made to cover up an affair.

Now on the flip side some people argue translation of the word virgin means, "young" not "pure".

Same deal, so what if this god story, was just a weak excuse to cover up an affair that got horribly out of control?
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#2
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
Mary: Joe, I have something to tell you. I'm pregnant.
Joseph: Wh-what??? Who is the father??
Mary: It's, uh...
Joseph: Come on, out with it!!!
Mary: It's... your father.
Joseph: *slits wrists... dies*
Mary: Maybe I should have phrased it a bit differently.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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#3
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
Times were different back then.

Of course, having evolved past primitive thinking, some of us anyway, we can look back and realize the absurdity of the entire virgin birth scenario.

And, yes, it could be a commonly held logical opinion that Mary stated God knocked me up because she knew she would get in trouble for having sex out of wedlock.

Of course, I do not place much stock in the historical accuracy of anything in the bible.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#4
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
Quote:some of us anyway,

Very true.
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#5
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
If Mary was that pure and innocent, would she have been able to comprehend a rape/sex scenario, from someone other than God?

She may not have connected the dots, so to speak, between a sexual assault from a nomad or shepherd or whatever, and a subsequent pregnancy. So when confronted by Joseph over her now rotund tummy some months later, she might have truthfully assumed God did it since she was ignorant (innocent) of the knowledge and understanding of what had happened to her that night, months before, behind the goat pen, with Colton, the hot goat herder, who was really friendly, and offered her a . . .

well, you get the idea.
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#6
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
Interesting theory. It's probably fair to say that sex education has come on leaps and bounds since then.
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#7
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
(April 10, 2014 at 5:09 am)Eva Wrote: [Image: Joe.jpg]
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#8
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
Nah. Virgin births have happened before. It's not like it was completely unheard of at the time.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#9
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
(May 1, 2014 at 1:01 pm)Tonus Wrote: Mary: Joe, I have something to tell you. I'm pregnant.
Joseph: Wh-what??? Who is the father??
Mary: It's, uh...
Joseph: Come on, out with it!!!
Mary: It's... your father. He's actually his own father.

Fixed that for you.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#10
RE: Virgin, God, WTF
(May 1, 2014 at 3:26 pm)Faith No More Wrote:
(May 1, 2014 at 1:01 pm)Tonus Wrote: Mary: It's... your father. He's actually his own father.
Fixed that for you.
Doesn't work with the punchline, though. The story would have to change and Joseph would have Mary put into a padded manger and the prophecies would tell of Jesus, who came from Bethlehem Bellvue.

It could work on its own, though. This latter version is more Monty Python-esque, I think.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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