Explaining death to children.

[Ravenshire]

I agree, but you're really just bitching, here. How would YOU explain the death of a parent to a very young child? It's all very well to say that the 'gone to live with the angels' answer is comforting, patronizing, damaging nonsense (and I agree that that it is), but what's your alternative?

Boru

[emphasis is mine]

Compassionate honesty. A painful truth is still better than a "comforting, patronizing, damaging" lie. Even if the truth is harsh, your delivery doesn't have to be.

[Zidneya]

Explain to them death pure and simple and then tell them:
Don't be afraid of death, fear not being able to live your life.

[Angrboda]

I think it's important to realize that young children may have different needs regarding the truth and existential facts than an adult or grown child. I don't see this as an attempt to avoid the truth so much as it is simply providing an account which the child is capable of handling at their particular stage of emotional and intellectual development. Children have different needs; sometimes the bald truth isn't appropriate for those needs.

[Minimalist]

You could organize a family trip here.

http://apnews.excite.com/article/2014062...89c3a.html

NEW YORK (AP) — A new museum opening in New York City this weekend promises a fascinating journey into the dark side.

The Morbid Anatomy Museum opens Saturday in Gowanus, Brooklyn.

Beats the creation museum!

[Mudhammam]

I agree, but you're really just bitching, here. How would YOU explain the death of a parent to a very young child? It's all very well to say that the 'gone to live with the angels' answer is comforting, patronizing, damaging nonsense (and I agree that that it is), but what's your alternative?

Boru

Being open, sensitive, and HONEST?

[Ksa]

I have just read an article in my local paper regarding a young father who kept himself ultra fit, but died following a visit to the gym. In the article, it goes on to explain how the mother found it very difficult to tell her children. Up to now, we have a very sad, tragic event that has devastated a family. I have empathy in bucket loads for them, but when it goes on to say that she told the children "Daddy has gone to Heaven to live with the angels", I have a problem. This is just an example story, but every similar one you read involves patronising children and comforting them with fairy tales so they grow up with a warped view of what I call the cycle of life. I honestly believe we should be bringing up children to know about birth, life and death. The sudden loss of a 31 year old father, hitherto fit and healthy, is going to generate far more questions than answers when it is considered from the god, heaven and angels point of view. When these kids ask, "why my daddy?" no doubt the answer will be "god has his reasons". Yeah, right.

Yes, comforting yourself with a fairy tale. When you have sex and penetrate a woman, suck on her feet if you happen to have a foot fetish, you also comfort yourself with a fairy tale to overcome the irrationality of your behavior...the dirty feet...and, very pleasant it is too!

A religious person is like that. He cannot give up that dirty foot in his mouth no matter how irrational it may be, because he likes it that way. I am a seeker of truth and I reject religion, but that's because I have other pleasures, and believe me, those pleasures are highly irrational as well.

It is very hard for one to find comfort and pleasure in rational things...simply because your rational brain is not there to achieve such a biological function. Nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex links leading to its neurons are irrational processes.

So, if the mother tried to explain death to her children, she failed miserably. If however she tried to comfort them so that they would not be sad, she achieved high quality standards.