Favorate Bible Verses

[Jenny A]

My husband's 13 year old niece has issued a Facebook challenge: cite your favorite Bible verse. He's still trying to figure out what to do. The rest of us have some unhealthy suggestions which he will certainly not post, but which are evilly fun to think about:

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Ezekiel 23:20

Let us get our father to drink wine and then let us lie with him and preserve our family line through our father.

Genesis 19:32

[Marsellus Wallace]

I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the Lord, when I take vengeance on them.’”

ofc ,you know why this one is my fav

[Sejanus]

Has to be 1 Corinthians 13:11, when applied to the bible.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

[Jenny A]

Has to be 1 Corinthians 13:11, when applied to the bible.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Funny, that's one my husband actually considered.

[LostLocke]

Here's another good one:

"And this shall be the plague with which the Lord will strike all the peoples that wage war against Jerusalem: their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths. " Zechariah 24:22

Or, maybe that's one of the ones she wouldn't post....

[CindysRain]

I get why you want to be careful, since she's only 13. Still, would like to see some of the other's faces when these delightful, tender and loving verses were posted.

2 Thessalonians 2:11-12
God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned.

[Jenny A]

Happy shall he be, that takes and dashes your little ones against the stones.

Psalms 137:9

[The Grand Nudger]

Job

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1 Can you pull in the leviathan with a fishhook or tie down his tongue with a rope?
2 Can you put a cord through his nose or pierce his jaw with a hook?
3 Will he keep begging you for mercy? Will he speak to you with gentle words?
4 Will he make an agreement with you for you to take him as your slave for life?
5 Can you make a pet of him like a bird or put him on a leash for your girls?
6 Will traders barter for him? Will they divide him up among the merchants?
7 Can you fill his hide with harpoons or his head with fishing spears?
8 If you lay a hand on him, you will remember the struggle and never do it again!
9 Any hope of subduing him is false; the mere sight of him is overpowering.
10 No-one is fierce enough to rouse him. Who then is able to stand against me?
11 Who has a claim against me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me.
12 I will not fail to speak of his limbs, his strength and his graceful form.
13 Who can strip off his outer coat? Who would approach him with a bridle?
14 Who dares open the doors of his mouth, ringed about with his fearsome teeth?
15 His back has rows of shields tightly sealed together;
16 Each is so close to the next that no air can pass between.
17 They are joined fast to one another; they cling together and cannot be parted.
18 His snorting throws out flashes of light; his eyes are like the rays of dawn.
19 Firebrands stream from his mouth; sparks of fire shoot out.
20 Smoke pours from his nostrils as from a boiling pot over a fire of reeds.
21 His breath sets coals ablaze, and flames dart from his mouth.
22 Strength resides in his neck; dismay goes before him.
23 The folds of his flesh are tightly joined; they are firm and immovable.
24 His chest is hard as rock, hard as a lower millstone.
25 When he rises up, the mighty are terrified; they retreat before his thrashing.
26 The sword that reaches him has no effect, nor does the spear or the dart or the javelin.
27 Iron he treats like straw and bronze like rotten wood.
28 Arrows do not make him flee, sling stones are like chaff to him.
29 A club seems to him but a piece of straw, he laughs at the rattling of the lance.
30 His undersides are jagged potsherds, leaving a trail in the mud like a threshing-sledge.
31 He makes the depths churn like a boiling cauldron and stirs up the sea like a pot of ointment.
32 Behind him he leaves a glistening wake; one would think the deep had white hair.
33 Nothing on earth is his equal—a creature without fear.
34 He looks down on all that are haughty; he is king over all that are proud.

---

To paraphrase:

"Ahem, Take a look at this bad-ass dragon. Can you fuck with it? I won't fuck with it. You know who can fuck with it? God, that's who. Amen, allah hu akbar, namaste, etc etc etc."

[Justtristo]

"For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

Matthew 19:12

[Cato]

None. I think this is a perfectly reasonable reply since I also don't have a favorite method for mangling my testicles.