Borowitz Explains It All

[Minimalist]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/bo...20%2891%29

The E.U. spokesman, Alf-Jergen Holmboe, said the replacement of American football with soccer was the third in a three-step plan to transform the U.S. into a European country.

“The first two steps were electing a socialist President and instituting national health care,” he said. “Once soccer replaces football, our work will be done.”

“Once a country has socialism, national health care, and gay marriage, soccer is usually next.”

[FreeTony]

If you really wanted to do it properly, it would be replacing American football with football.

[Dystopia]

I'm still trying to understand the concept people have of a socialist person. Obama is not near socialism. Why don't people understand there are NO socialist countries (except for China, North Korea, etc), there are mixed economy systems (with capitalism AND socialism/government planning) - Most of those socialist parties and presidents aren't really socialist, they favor socialism and capitalism in a mixed economy but are not pure socialists, therefore calling them socialists is incorrect. What the guy probably said is that the US needs a more left wing president that favors government intervention - I don't know if this would work according to the american super individualist mentality, but a try is worth it. Just wanted to clear this out, most socialist parties in europe are NOT really socialist, all of them, except of pure communist parties support a mixed economy system. I've had these parties in my country and they don't really support socialism, just more intervention measures in a mixed economy system. It's just like sweden and other Scandinavian countries, a lot of people think they're socialist, but they have a mixed economy system and their growth comes from capitalism (don't confuse growth with development), they also have a lot of intervention measures, but they are not really socialist since they never put capitalism (a smart move) aside. I hope I helped and sorry if I was too 'bitchy' about terminology and concepts

[Minimalist]

Obama is not near socialism.

He's black....close enough for the right-wing knuckle draggers. Actually, he's as much white as he is black but that would cause republicunts' heads to explode.

[Cato]

If you really wanted to do it properly, it would be replacing American football with football.

You mean Association football.