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**Brakeman** · (This post was last modified: October 2, 2014 at 10:08 pm by Brakeman.)

I inherited the cluelessness gene from my father. He had no idea when other people thought he was being and ass and he would often incense people. I have learned that I as well don't really get it when I say things that piss people off unintentionally.

I have 3 people at work that obviously would love to see me die in a fire, but I don't even know why they are angry. One may be simply angry that I constantly bring defects from his department to him, but that's simply my job, he should understand that. The other two.. I dunno..I'm normally so sweet.. Confused Fall

How would I approach my dilemma? Ignore it? Professionally they can't touch me so I have the option of just ignoring it, but the cold shoulders are soo obvious. I doubt they would ever be happy at the sight of me as I am required to audit and effect process changes inside their department. I'm not their boss, but I get to tell them what to do and they can't tell me shit so the relationship is one sided. I think that is the main thing that bugs them, but in my old age I'm getting soft and don't want to work in a nest of enemies.

Clueless Morgan · October 2, 2014 at 10:48 pm

Clueless? Did someone ask for me?

Oh, guess not...

**Minimalist** · October 2, 2014 at 11:02 pm

Quote:but I get to tell them what to do and they can't tell me shit so the relationship is one sided.

Get them fired for incompetence. Maybe you'll have better luck with their replacements?

**vorlon13** · October 2, 2014 at 11:17 pm

I found out a while back some of the other volunteers (a clique) at a place I help out at think I'm autistic. The reality is far closer to me knowing they are 'otnay ootay ightbray' and I have noticed over the last few years the less they do the smoother the place runs. They are bloody deadwood, and I don't need the aggravation of their boobery. One of them has wet brain, another has a vicious cunt of a wife (a relative of mine) who over the years had made a tremendous amount of extra work for us, and the third keeps breaking things and overlooking obvious hazards.

I frequently work as a docent, and have been told I am quite good at it. (Already knew that, LOL) So it isn't me, it really is the clique.

Our biggest problem at that place is you can't fire volunteers. (although after 2 years of the silent treatment we did get rid of 'Gary')

*Deidre* · October 3, 2014 at 5:26 pm

Maybe it's your delivery? Sometimes, it's not 'what' we say, but 'how' we say it. I don't know for sure of course, but just throwing that out there to you. :=)

**vorlon13** · October 3, 2014 at 10:57 pm

I pretty much just ignore the clique. They are resistant to listening to things they don't want to hear (don't put out the BROKEN chairs, somebody will get hurt !!), 'J' is usually drunk or hungover, and 'P' just parrots the delusions of his shrew of a wife. 'S' can't seem to ever notice a pattern, he'll fix something the same (wrong) way 20 times, and still act surprised when it breaks again, and then he turns around and duck tapes it back together again.

They're old and VERY set in their ways, I wouldn't drink with them even if I wasn't 12 Stepping, and I'm just never going to be part of their club. We have some historical display items, none of them has ever bothered to educate themselves on anything in the collection. If I interact with them, it is just frustrating.

**Jenny A** · October 4, 2014 at 12:13 am

(October 2, 2014 at 10:01 pm)Brakeman Wrote: I inherited the cluelessness gene from my father. He had no idea when other people thought he was being and ass and he would often incense people. I have learned that I as well don't really get it when I say things that piss people off unintentionally.

I have 3 people at work that obviously would love to see me die in a fire, but I don't even know why they are angry. One may be simply angry that I constantly bring defects from his department to him, but that's simply my job, he should understand that. The other two.. I dunno..I'm normally so sweet..

How would I approach my dilemma? Ignore it? Professionally they can't touch me so I have the option of just ignoring it, but the cold shoulders are soo obvious. I doubt they would ever be happy at the sight of me as I am required to audit and effect process changes inside their department. I'm not their boss, but I get to tell them what to do and they can't tell me shit so the relationship is one sided. I think that is the main thing that bugs them, but in my old age I'm getting soft and don't want to work in a nest of enemies.

Ahh, you are my type, i.e. the type I usually end up with (not a bad thing). I wish that that meant I could clue you in, but I can't really. I'm better at this sort of thing than most men but worse than most women.

Asking people why they are angry sometimes disarms them. But don't embarrass them by doing it when others are present unless they are in your way and you really have to annihilate them rather than just smooth out your work environment.

~~Drich~~ · October 4, 2014 at 12:34 am

(October 2, 2014 at 10:01 pm)Brakeman Wrote: I inherited the cluelessness gene from my father. He had no idea when other people thought he was being and ass and he would often incense people. I have learned that I as well don't really get it when I say things that piss people off unintentionally.

I have 3 people at work that obviously would love to see me die in a fire, but I don't even know why they are angry. One may be simply angry that I constantly bring defects from his department to him, but that's simply my job, he should understand that. The other two.. I dunno..I'm normally so sweet..

How would I approach my dilemma? Ignore it? Professionally they can't touch me so I have the option of just ignoring it, but the cold shoulders are soo obvious. I doubt they would ever be happy at the sight of me as I am required to audit and effect process changes inside their department. I'm not their boss, but I get to tell them what to do and they can't tell me shit so the relationship is one sided. I think that is the main thing that bugs them, but in my old age I'm getting soft and don't want to work in a nest of enemies.

Well you are definitely not likable, but I do not think your a sociopath either as you do show some concern and acknoweledge some level of empathy towards the terriable burden you put upon others. I just think you are a good ole fashion butthole who has a little bit of power and abuses/hides behind it.

Now is this a bad thing in what you do/job? Not nessarily. If you need to remain objective and need to push up, or maintain a given standard then a company needs a butthole if for no other reason to get rid of crappy work and crappy people. It seems this is your job, which means your boss see your potential.
[Image: 044.gif]

If you are not comfortable with this, then know you are not like your father. If you really want to be you underlings friends and well like, shirk your responsiablities and let people get away with stuff, or find another job.

**Brakeman** · October 4, 2014 at 1:04 am

(October 3, 2014 at 5:26 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Maybe it's your delivery? Sometimes, it's not 'what' we say, but 'how' we say it. I don't know for sure of course, but just throwing that out there to you. :=)

Yes, I think it is my delivery. I'm too brusk for most. It is hard for me to keep in mind that others do not see things as I do. I must try to do better yet again.

*Deidre* · October 4, 2014 at 1:11 am

(October 4, 2014 at 1:04 am)Brakeman Wrote:
(October 3, 2014 at 5:26 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Maybe it's your delivery? Sometimes, it's not 'what' we say, but 'how' we say it. I don't know for sure of course, but just throwing that out there to you. :=)

Yes, I think it is my delivery. I'm too brusk for most. It is hard for me to keep in mind that others do not see things as I do. I must try to do better yet again.

And just like that, you show wonderful humility. :=)
I hope things get better.

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