The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[LadyForCamus]

I just want to say one more thing, not to hammer on Brewer some more, but just because sometimes a little education can shed some light on issues that are difficult to relate to. Most pregnancy/baby forums enforce very specific rules regarding discussions about children or babies who have died. That is how traumatizing these experiences are for women. At babycenter.com, it is required that ANY post that even mentions: a miscarriage (even at 6 weeks), the death of a baby either pre-natal or post-natal, or the death of a child, anywhere within its content have a clear “Trigger” warning in the title of the post. That’s how harmful this can be to a woman. So, when CL talks about how difficult it is to hear her friends talk about their alive children, I think we can extend our empathy enough to understand why.

[Angrboda]

[Mystic]

I believe Catholic_Lady was shown a miracle from God. She is part of a noble family, she will find purpose and meaning regardless of this. It's tough. Not saying it isn't.

Stay blessed Catholic_Lady. I will remember you in my prayers, I hope you do the same!

[Angrboda]

I believe Catholic_Lady was shown a miracle from God. She is part of a noble family, she will find purpose and meaning regardless of this.  It's tough. Not saying it isn't.

Stay blessed Catholic_Lady.  I will remember you in my prayers, I hope you do the same!

Not your god, but hey, what the heck.

[The Valkyrie]

I'll let you know when it's dead.

I suppose you have a hand in that.

A hand, no.

A chainsaw....

[DodosAreDead]

A hand, no.

A chainsaw....

I love how your signature has this:   , emoji in it, it fits the tone of your posts almost all the time.

[brewer]

Did any of you read CL's CIJS post? And my responses?

https://atheistforums.org/thread-43505-p...t=pregnant         post #6115

Do none of you see self pity in that post? I know CL was venting but what was being said was a little hard core. 

Yes, I was insensitive, but sometimes people need to hear some tough love. I've been hoping that CL would get past this for awhile but not seeing much progress. And if you haven't seen my support for CL in the past then you haven't been looking. 

If my poke in the CIJS thread and post in this thread pissed you/CL off enough to move on, well, what can I say. Maybe what I had to say had nothing to do with you moving on. But then, ................

I will take responsibility for being insensitive and I do apologize CL. I've been in a tough love mode with several people IRL for months. You might have got caught up in that, it's my fault, not yours.

[Mystic]

Semi-apology by the looks of it. Justifying it with tough-love non-sense.

[SteelCurtain]

Did any of you read CL's CIJS post? And my responses?

https://atheistforums.org/thread-43505-p...t=pregnant         post #6115

Do none of you see self pity in that post? I know CL was venting but what was being said was a little hard core. 

Yes, I was insensitive, but sometimes people need to hear some tough love. I've been hoping that CL would get past this for awhile but not seeing much progress. And if you haven't seen my support for CL in the past then you haven't been looking. 

If my poke in the CIJS thread and post in this thread pissed you/CL off enough to move on, well, what can I say. Maybe what I had to say had nothing to do with you moving on. But then, ................

I will take responsibility for being insensitive and I do apologize CL. I've been in a tough love mode with several people IRL for months. You might have got caught up in that, it's my fault, not yours.

To me, insensitivity and tough love are mutually exclusive. "Poking" at someone who lost a child is always uncalled for. No matter how much time has passed. "Moving on" is not a fucking option, is the point. You don't move on from the loss of a child. You cope forever.

[Joods]

Did any of you read CL's CIJS post? And my responses?

https://atheistforums.org/thread-43505-p...t=pregnant         post #6115

Do none of you see self pity in that post? I know CL was venting but what was being said was a little hard core. 

Yes, I was insensitive, but sometimes people need to hear some tough love. I've been hoping that CL would get past this for awhile but not seeing much progress. And if you haven't seen my support for CL in the past then you haven't been looking. 

If my poke in the CIJS thread and post in this thread pissed you/CL off enough to move on, well, what can I say. Maybe what I had to say had nothing to do with you moving on. But then, ................

I will take responsibility for being insensitive and I do apologize CL. I've been in a tough love mode with several people IRL for months. You might have got caught up in that, it's my fault, not yours.

Clearly you missed the point of the dialogue between you and I during that time as well. As CL said - that thread is for venting. Hard core or not - she was doing what she needed to in order to get it out and vent. Your first post in response to that was very unnecessary and not even in the same zip code as funny. 

Months later here we are and it is still just as hurtful. My own experiences with losing more than one pregnancy (including the three I didn't mention in my CIJS post) were painful and there's no time limit on how long we get to grieve our losses. Above all - no one gets the right to poke fun at that. Period. At No time is this ever acceptable. No matter what your intentions are or were - there is nothing funny about losing a child. Friends don't do that to friends. Sometimes it's best to know when not to be the class clown. 

I'm glad you finally apologized, but that apology shouldn't have come with any sort of reasoning attached to it because it lessens the sincerity of said apology. 

I really hope CL can come back here but honestly, I wouldn't blame her if she decided not to.