So depressed

[abaris]

I "only" suffer from clinical depression. When I first realized to have it, or better admitted to having it, I sought out professional help. There are some things life throws at you that can't be dealt with under your own steam.

[JaceDeanLove]

I have shizoaffective disorder as well. My main problems are depression and delusions. I've been fighting this stuff for nearly 25 years (in the mental health system). It may seem that things are never going to change because change happens slowly over a long period of time, the depression causes irrational thinking that it won't change, and because of the destruction in your life caused by things like manic episodes. It's frustrating, and many days I just want to give up. However, I can't say things haven't changed over those 25 years. Things do change. For most of the 25 years, I was chronically suicidal because my delusions led me to believe that I needed to kill myself. In 2008 I attempted suicide and lost nine fingers to frostbite as a result of the attempt. That sounds tragic, and perhaps it is. But the important news is that I started an anti-psychotic last winter, and the delusional thinking is much improved. I no longer spend my days chronically suicidal, thinking about how to kill myself. So while it's a hard road, it is a road on which things can get better.

Nice to know there is someone on here with the same problems!

[Violet]

Nice to know there is someone on here with the same problems!

We're crazy, you and me, we're as fucked up as can be, with paranoia, and hallucinations: we'll enjoy our delu-u-sions~

Song inspired by hugging purple dinosaurs.

[JaceDeanLove]

Nice to know there is someone on here with the same problems!

We're crazy, you and me, we're as fucked up as can be, with paranoia, and hallucinations: we'll enjoy our delu-u-sions~

Song inspired by hugging purple dinosaurs.

Do you have any diagnoses?

[Violet]

Do you have any diagnoses?

Just the worst one... that song took me like, 15 minutes. Stupidity is the worst. People make fun of me all the time, and I cries

...

But yeah, I've won the Weirdest Member Award here 4 years running... and I've got my eyes set on a fifth victory. That's *FOUR* insanity badges, and its four more than anybody else

[StealthySkeptic]

Hello. I'm a 16 year old male with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I'm so depressed.... All my life I'll have to live on this roller coaster through hell. I'll either be really manic, or depressed. When I'm manic, it's not true happiness, and I do stuff which I later regret when I become depressed. My whole life has and always will be like this.

And take it from someone with depression and high functioning autism. 16 is the worst fucking time ever.my advice, is get some very good friends and try to have some fun.

I struggled with high functioning autism as well, and I agree wholeheartedly with this.

[robvalue]

Hi welcome to the forums

I'm sorry to hear how much you are suffering. I have severe depression too, so I have some idea how you feel. I've been through what felt like hell to me, non stop mental torment. I felt things would never ever get better. But for me they have improved, I am still struggling daily but life is bearable. I wish you the best with your journey and hope things improve for you too. The only advice I can give is to not isolate yourself. The fact you are here shows you are talking steps against that which is great

[ManMachine]

Hello. I'm a 16 year old male with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I'm so depressed.... All my life I'll have to live on this roller coaster through hell. I'll either be really manic, or depressed. When I'm manic, it's not true happiness, and I do stuff which I later regret when I become depressed. My whole life has and always will be like this.

Do you take any meds?

A decent doctor can prescribe antipsychotic drugs.

MM

[Little lunch]

The definitive moment that I made a decision to stop thinking about killing myself was the day a doctor told me that it was common for children to follow in their parents footsteps.
Right at that moment I remembered that a friend of mine had committed suicide on the 5th anniversary of her mother's suicide.
I didn't realise it was a common thing at the time.
Up until that point I'd thought that because of all the pain I'd caused my friends and family that we'd all be better off without me and I'd be finally doing something good.
It didn't take me long to realise that putting a gun to my head could be like putting a gun to my daughter's head in the long run.
I'm doing really really well at the moment.
But when I'm down I take strength from my desire for my daughter to have a happy future and somehow I just handle it.

Something else I'd like to say is that I feel like it gets easier as you get older.
At least for me it has. :-)

[JaceDeanLove]

The definitive moment that I made a decision to stop thinking about killing myself was the day a doctor told me that it was common for children to follow in their parents footsteps.
Right at that moment I remembered that a friend of mine had committed suicide on the 5th anniversary of her mother's suicide.
I didn't realise it was a common thing at the time.
Up until that point I'd thought that because of all the pain I'd caused my friends and family that we'd all be better off without me and I'd be finally doing something good.
It didn't take me long to realise that putting a gun to my head could be like putting a gun to my daughter's head in the long run.
I'm doing really really well at the moment.
But when I'm down I take strength from my desire for my daughter to have a happy future and somehow I just handle it.

Something else I'd like to say is that I feel like it gets easier as you get older.
At least for me it has. :-)

The problem is, Bipolar usually gets worse as you get older :/