Catholic nun and Muslim man

[Forsaken]

A Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating fresh shrimp.

Every time he ate one, he spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to deflect it.

He finished the box and threw it out the window.

Seeing this, she had enough, and pulled the Emergency Cord.

The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing
that, you stupid, Infidel, worthless Catholic bitch.”

She laughed and said, “When I cry out rape and they smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years, you towel headed camel-fucker !

[rexbeccarox]

Really? Ew.

[Forsaken]

So, Hitler, Idi Amin, and Mohammed are all sitting in the waiting room in Hell. Finally, the Devil shows up and says:

“Welcome! It’s not often that we have such distinguished guests down here. Before we show you to your permanent quarters, I’ve prepared a special welcome party for you three.”

Hitler, a little surprised, turns to the other two and says “Well, the Devil doesn’t seem so bad after all!”, to which Idi and Mohammed agreed.

“Now,” continued Satan, “before the party, I would like each of you to go through this door over here, and behind it you will find the greatest zoo you have ever seen. There, I have collected specimens of every animal that has ever existed on earth. Each of you gets to pick one of your favorite animals from the zoo to bring to the party.”

Hearing this, Idi got excited: “Ooh, I love animals. I had quite the zoo myself, but this should be magnificent!”

So, the three notables crossed the room to the door, and when they entered, they saw before them a grand cavern, with terraces that extended for miles, filled with every imaginable creature, living or extinct. There were great enclosures, with every imaginable type of ecosystem for the land animals, giant aquariums for all of the sea creatures, and massive aviaries for every type of flying thing. Stunned, the men set about surveying the place as they tried to decide which of these marvelous creatures to choose as their companion for the party.

Meanwhile, the Devil sat back in the waiting room, until finally, Hitler was the first to return, leading a German Shepherd along with him.

“Ah, I see you have made your choice!” said Lucifer.

“Yes, I saw many great beasts, but I was lonely for my loyal pets that I left behind, so I have chosen this fine dog which reminds me of them.” replied Adolf.

“Very good!” said the Devil. “Now, if you will proceed through the next doorway, we can get this party started in earnest.”

Proceeding through the gate, Hitler saw a strange contraption which two demons promptly chained him to after swiftly disrobing him.

“I hope you are comfortable, my friend.”, said Satan. “For here, you shall be raped for the next thousand years by the beast you chose.”

Hearing this, Adolf began to giggle, but Satan had seen some strange characters in his time, so he chocked it up to eccentricity and went back to the waiting room. He didn’t have to wait long before Idi Amin returned, leading a lion.

“Ah, so this is the beast you have chosen?” asked the Devil.

“Indeed! I have always felt a kinship with this great hunter, as I was also like a king among beasts.” answered Amin.

“Good, now let us go into the next room to the party!” exclaimed Satan.

Entering the next room, Amin was also strapped to a similar apparatus, as Satan explained his predicament to him. This elicited a hearty burst of laughter from Idi Amin.

“Strange,” mumbled Satan, “but Hitler also laughed when I described his torture to him. I just thought he was a bit of a weirdo, but you find it even funnier than he did. What is going on here?”

“Well,” said Idi, “me and Hitler are in for a rough time for sure, but that dipstick Mohammed is still back in the zoo trying to pick his favorite dinosaur!”

[CapnAwesome]

I was hoping for something kinkier.

[Brian37]

I was thinking about starting an atheist restaurant. Nothing will be on the menu.

[Losty]

https://atheistforums.org/thread-28795.h...=Offensive