New here and pretty depressed (Kinda long)

[KrystalVisions]

Hey guys. Well I am mostly agnostic but leaning towards atheism. I was wondering if anyone here wishes they could believe in something? Because to be honest, the thought of there being NOTHING but this life is VERY depressing to me. As a bipolar person, life sucks hardcore. And to be honest I have had two psychotic breaks in the last couple of years where I met "God." It felt more real than this reality at the time. I was NEVER religious but I did have some form of spirituality before all this happened. I suppose I was a spiritual agnostic. But the point is I was open to there being something more than this crap.

To have something like this happen to you, then to be told it's all in your brain is pretty devastating. Because I've always considered myself a pretty logical person, I can't believe I fell into such a deep delusion for months TWICE. What's funny is the "voice of God" told me I must have "faith." Why? I should have asked it why lol. I never understood why faith was needed to believe in this stuff. Why can't there be solid hardcore evidence? I guess I should know the answers I will get on an atheist forum, but I still wish I could believe what I experienced was more than just a hallucination. I would honestly rather be psychotic and happy, than sane and miserable.

And no I have never believed in the bible. Even when I was a kid I had to roll my eyes at it, but I was still open to there being SOME form of higher power. Now I just look at nature and see a big cruel machine. If there is a God I don't know why it would put me through two psychotic breaks, knowing it would crush what little faith I had. The times I have listened to Christian programming, I have wanted to punch my fist through the radio. I honestly don't know how adults could believe in something so blindly. So much that it affects their behavior. I always agree with the atheists when I watch God debates.

There is still some evidence out there that has me on the fence though. Some near death experience stories are pretty crazy, particularly the ones where the person witnesses things outside their bodies, that are later confirmed by medical staff. But of course as frustrating as it is, it's not enough. Yes I know all about the DMT and dying brain theories.

I know all man made religion is BS, but I am still not leaning towards atheism by choice. I just can't deny science. I don't know how people can turn a blind eye to things so much to try and hold on to something like the bible being true. And to be happy and content with believing the bible to be true, even when being shown evidence that it is BS. I just don't get it. I WISH I could believe in something like that to be honest but it would require me shutting my brain off.

I am just wondering if there are any atheists who wish they could believe in something more? Isn't the thought of being just a mechanical meat machine depressing? I know that's not an excuse to throw out one's brain though, but how do you cope with this belief? I am not sure how to cope with being a cynical bitter skeptic. I just don't see the point in anything. Not even getting out of bed sometimes. I am a tiny speck on a floating ball of dirt leading a meaningless existence. Am I alone in this feeling?

[Whateverist]

I do believe in something more. It just isn't anything 'out there'. There is more to each one of us than what we decide. The mystery is inside and its pretty cool. But I don't expect there to be any afterlife beyond that as compost. Oh, and no one and nothing is in charge. Enjoy.

[Minimalist]

Some near death experience stories are pretty crazy

The chasm between "near death" and "death" is vast.

Welcome.

[AFTT47]

KrystalVisions, I ponder the possibility that advanced aliens could function as God as far as an afterlife is concerned. The materialistic view (which I subscribe to) is that our consciousness (soul, in religious language) is simply a pattern of electrical signals in the brain. In theory, it could all be copied and preserved. Eventually, we'll probably be able to do this by ourselves but not yet!

I can't say I really believe there are aliens who watch over us and preserve us when our bodies fail but it is a non-supernatural possibility. It's not much of a comfort but it's all I need.

And welcome to our board! I believe there are many of us who struggle with same kind of thing you do so you're not alone.

[robvalue]

Hiya Krystal, welcome Thank you for telling your story.

It is a common desire for their to be some sort of higher power. When looked at entirely scientifically, life can seem pointless. But then the fact that this life is probably all we will ever have can be a motivating factor. There's no need to worry about things on a universal scale. Everything you do matters to you and those around you. It's act now, or never, cosmically speaking. If instead life continued endlessly, this life would have far less meaning to me; there would be no urgency to experience anything.

I suffer from severe depression too, you have my sympathy. With regard to visions of God and hearing "you have to have faith", my guess would be that these are reflections of aspects of religions you've been surrounded in. If instead "believing through your fingers" (whatever that may mean) was the popular religious message, then I would guess you'd have heard that instead. It's the same with near death experiences and such, they almost always tend to include details from the mythology that has surrounded the person, even if they don't believe in it.

My best advice, especially towards tackling depression, is to try and focus on other people. See if there are ways you can help people more. Maybe it could be through volunteering, finding worthy causes online, or just being there for others. I have found this to be one of the few things that gives me any real satisfaction anymore. Everyone else just has this one life, so helping them is a brilliant thing to do, and taking the focus away from yourself may help you.

It seems you're too scientifically minded to fall for any of the crap, even though you want to. Maybe that's another option, to pursue logical areas such as science or mathematics? Fact is, we don't know if there's anything else. There could be, but we have no way of knowing yet. So all we can do is try and make the best of the only life we're sure we will have.

I hope you stick around, and that speaking to us lot will help you feel a little better

[Mudhammam]

Hey guys. I am just wondering if there are any atheists who wish they could believe in something more? Isn't the thought of being just a mechanical meat machine depressing?

Someone hasn't been reading their Lucretius lately. If you want to catch a glimpse of life's poetry you'd better start reading better stuff! Unweaving the Rainbow by Richard Dawkins is another one you might want to check out.

Being mechanical stuff in an environment we are born from and to it will return, conscious of colors, sounds, feelings, thoughts, love---it's pretty special whether you imagine an invisible wizard behind a curtain or not.

[Cinjin]

I am just wondering if there are any atheists who wish they could believe in something more? Isn't the thought of being just a mechanical meat machine depressing? I know that's not an excuse to throw out one's brain though, but how do you cope with this belief? I am not sure how to cope with being a cynical bitter skeptic. I just don't see the point in anything. Not even getting out of bed sometimes. I am a tiny speck on a floating ball of dirt leading a meaningless existence. Am I alone in this feeling?

Another depressed atheist.

Look man, I'm going to tell you the meaning of life right now.
You ready?

Love. Thats right, Love.


It's the only reason and the only meaning life has. Some people love their spouse, their kids or their pets. Some people love the great outdoors. Others love music and art. Some even love money and power for some reason. Whatever it is. Love is the meaning of life. To assign anything more to it is folly.

Now, go out and find what it is you love. Hold onto it for the rest of your life. Don't contemplate existential shit that changes nothing, and be sure to enjoy the myriad of the simple pleasures life offers.

Do these simple things and someday, when it is your life that is coming to an end, you will know without a doubt that it had meaning.

[robvalue]

I tell you what, start looking into quantum mechanics! It's the most weird and wonderful thing you could imagine. It's more incredible than any gods/woo people come up with. What goes on beneath our ability to see is astonishing.

[watchamadoodle]

Hi, KrystalVisions.

I'm not bipolar, but I had a psychotic break, so I can relate to that. I went from atheist to extreme religiosity. It's embarrassing. Also it took me a long time to fully accept that I had been psychotic. I had some of the most amazing hallucinations. It was just like being in a movie with lots of special effects. I can understand that the real world seems boring and depressing by comparison.

There is a good forum for bipolar people:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipolar/

Here is a quote that might cheer you up:

---

The implications of classical theism, if it is accepted in all of its details, are clear enough: If God exists then we were created for a purpose; we are valued, loved. If God exists then we also have an incentive, not to mention a moral duty, to fulfil this purpose; our eternal fate hangs on whether we follow God, as we were created to, or rebel against his authority. Classical theism is therefore often felt to restrict our freedom, but to do so not because we are unimportant but rather because we are important and so have a duty of care to ourselves and to others. Theism thus affirms our value even as it constrains our freedom.

Atheism, plausibly, exerts pressure in the opposite direction: it affirms our freedom but, it is often thought, threatens to compromise our value. In general, those who have lacked belief in a next life have thought that this makes our choices in this life all the more important. Sartre, for instance, thought that the absence of a divine Creator who defines who we are gives us absolute freedom to define ourselves. Because there is no God, there is no God-given human nature, and so each of us is, in a sense, his own Creator. We are free to be who we want to be.

---

http://www.philosophyofreligion.info/

[professor]

Welcome to AF Krystal,
May you discover the answers you seek.