A fear of relapse

[urlawyer]

Hey all, I just recently found out I was an atheist after being brought up in a christian family. I mean, looking back I guess being a christian never really clicked with my totally analytical brain but somehow I still managed to hold onto it, albeit quite loosely as time went on. So 21 years a "christian" I finally come to terms with myself and, probably a little too quickly, come out to my friends and family. Woot!

Problem starts a little bit later when I find myself trying to explain why I am an atheist to my family. I have solid arguments, don't get me wrong, I mean I spent years contemplating all this before I decided. But there must still be a part of me that's having trouble letting go because as I form my logic I hear a little voice in my head saying
"Oh, that's not right! How could you think like that?"
And I tell the voice, "Well here's the logic. It only makes sense that it's like this."
And then I'm going back and forth with myself battling my old indoctrinated christian sentiments with my emotionless logic and in the end I have to remind myself of how I felt as a christian when it never felt quite right so the voice in my head quiets down. But it always comes back and I do it all over again, it's extremely frustrating.
I'm kind of fearful that I'll have a relapse and become the zombie I once was again, never daring to reach out and explore.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any wisdom or tips to help a newborn such as myself?

[rexbeccarox]

Hello! Welcome!

[Alex K]

Hey, welcome, I think there may be a few people around who have experienced similar things!
I personally fortunately haven't, my upbringing, while vaguely protestant, was only mildly religious and I am as atheist as they get.
The only times when I have felt weird about my atheism was when I had prolonged stays in the American south where everyone was crazy religious, getting down with their own personal Jesus all the time.

In the end though, I don't think you have to be afraid of relapse. You are who you are, and you believe and feel what you do. Give yourself some time to work it all out and don't be afraid to go one way or the other. If you end up in some strange place in between in the end, that's fine, too, as long as you are comfortable. If it's a lifelong back and forth for you, that's fine, too, in my book. Makes it interesting

[Norman Humann]

Oh boy, do I know what you mean. You're definitely not alone in this. All I can say is, well, hang in there. It will eventually fade with time. If you want to talk about it, feel free to PM me.

Welcome to the forums. Do stick around.

[robvalue]

Hello, welcome

Congratulations on coming through to reality! I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, from what I've heard it is very common. You're fighting against the indoctrinated pre-programmed part of your brain that has been cultivated by those around you. Please continue to talk to us about everything on your mind, and we'll all help you

My advice is hang onto that logic. Logic beats religion every single time with no contest. Religion goes for the emotion, blackmail, torment, threats, slander... all the dirty underhand tactics. The reason religion does this is that it has no actual rational arguments at all. It can sometimes put something forward that seems like a logical argument, but every time it can be dissected. If you find any sticking in your mind, please post them and we'll help you rip them apart. I've got a big section about common tricks they pull on my website here which may help.

Of course I can't say for sure, but once you're out, I think it's extremely unlikely you'd get sucked back in. Parts of your brain may try, but it can never fully get you unless you really believe it is all true again. And when you've seen through it, that shouldn't happen. It can make you suffer and feel guilt though, again tools religion uses to try and stop people leaving. But you are in the right, you have been wronged from the start and this is not something you should have had to do in the first place. You were forced into religion against your choice, and now you're regaining your sanity.

Norman is right, give it time and it will almost certainly improve, this is the message I have got from people in your position. Also, try laughing at religion as much as possible. I love taking the piss out of the whole thing, pointing at its inconsistencies and failings. Kick it to the curb for the bunch of superstitious bullshit that it is.

Just to warn you, we have some resident christians who will most likely smell blood and try and drop massive guilt trips on you. If they do this, just ignore them or tell them to fuck off. They do it with everyone.

Take care and enjoy the forum

[Neo-Scholastic]

Hello, URlawyer!

Thank you for sharing your background story. My experience has been very similar to yours. My early faith was not particularly strong for lack of proper instruction. I gradually discarded each belief until none remained and admitted to myself that I was functionally an atheist so I might as well be an intellectual one as well. Some members of my family were concerned but if you don't press the issue, the general love family members have for each other overrides everything else.Like you I maintained an atheist stance for many years, except I actually did take the next step and reconfirmed my Christian faith.

You used the word 'logic' three times in your post. If you do regain your belief it will most likely not be for emotional reasons. I lost my faith because of rational analysis and likewise I regained it mostly as a result of reason applied to experience. You can never truly go back to your original position, but your newly found faith will be stronger and more grounded.

I wish you all the best and enjoy your time here.

[Kitty Galore]

Hello, welcome


Just to warn you, we have some resident christians who will most likely smell blood and try and drop massive guilt trips on you. If they do this, just ignore them or tell them to fuck off. They do it with everyone.

Take care and enjoy the forum

There is an ignore button, don't be afraid to use it.

Welcome!

[watchamadoodle]

You might start a thread and get ideas for preventing relapse. Each person is different, so the strategy varies.
- fundamentalists often only need to poke a few holes in Biblical inerrancy to be comfortably atheist.
- some people use the philosophical arguments (problem of evil)
- some people benefit from comparative religion and history
- some people like me just learn the hard way

[Norman Humann]

Watcha's right. Personally I recommend the bible, it does help to see just how full of shit it really is. Another thing that helps is understanding that if you're willing to accept one supernatural claim, you have to accept all of them. So when you find yourself thinking god might be real, remember you need to say the same thing about unicorns, tooth fairies and the boogeyman in consequence.

[urlawyer]

Thanks a lot for the support everyone, I really appreciate it. I think one of the reasons it's been hard is that I haven't had a group I could go to in order to strengthen my ideals like I did when I was christian. I'm aiming towards the point where I can rely fully on myself and be confident in my reason, but until then it's nice to have others to lean on