Craptastical day
March 31, 2015 at 11:57 am
(This post was last modified: March 31, 2015 at 11:59 am by Joods.
Edit Reason: Sentence didn't make sense.
)
Having a really bad day today and wishing it was over already. It started with that bad dream (see the dream thread) and progressed to having words with the ex at my youngest's eye appointment. Goddamn I hate these kinds of days where I have to deal with assholes. I'll get through it but my whole day is fucked up now because I can't stop thinking about my oldest. It's like a continual kick in the stomach or a dream I can't seem to wake up from.
See, if there was a god and he was all powerful, he would right this wrong. But this only furthers my disbelief because my closest friends have seen me be tormented by my ex for a decade and fully knows how much damage he has done. They have been witness to all of the crap he has pulled and have watched as the courts continue to turn a blind eye and all of the accusations and injustice caused by this person. They have watched me scream into pillows, get physically sick, not eat for days, threaten to kill myself to end the pain - all because of the intent of another person to destroy me. They have watched him use my children as weapons to accomplish this. If there was a god, he could very easily put an end to all this suffering and separation of a mother and her child. But he doesn't. Because he doesn't exist.
See, if there was a god and he was all powerful, he would right this wrong. But this only furthers my disbelief because my closest friends have seen me be tormented by my ex for a decade and fully knows how much damage he has done. They have been witness to all of the crap he has pulled and have watched as the courts continue to turn a blind eye and all of the accusations and injustice caused by this person. They have watched me scream into pillows, get physically sick, not eat for days, threaten to kill myself to end the pain - all because of the intent of another person to destroy me. They have watched him use my children as weapons to accomplish this. If there was a god, he could very easily put an end to all this suffering and separation of a mother and her child. But he doesn't. Because he doesn't exist.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
